Random Random Thing

Reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a Croissant (🥐).

You all just want me for my mediocre posts and my unremarkable penis

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

nobody even knows how normal i am on account of my being obviously crazy

If gender is a performance, then I’m a method actor who never read the script, but is killing it anyways.

I ate my script never looked at it.

My script sprang to life, slapped me in the face, gave me paper cuts, then once I got ahold of it again it burst into flames!

Lost my script and then found it under the couch years after my last performance

btw if you are a trans man or transmasc reading this right now YOU 🫵‼️ make the world a brighter and more beautiful place by staying alive another day. you are NOT hurting anyone by being your gender and anyone who tells you so is a fucking moron NEVER KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."