"Impossible," you say?

Since being diagnosed with cancer my husband has become very willing to step into arguments at his workplace and elsewhere because “nobody wants to be seen yelling at the guy with brain cancer” and so far his success rate is shockingly high.

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

no no, I know what you're thinking but it's actually amazingly great, keep watching.

Oh wow did not see that coming

The kind of public service announcements humans SHOULD be watching.

Happy disability pride month

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

is anybody out there

your honor who gives a fuck. like for real

guys it turns out if you wanna have fun and be a fun and interesting person you like have to fill your day with fun things and not just rotting in your room …… need a moment to process

be honest. are you guys only hanging out with me because of the prophecy.

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."

This is the best thing on the internet.

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie