#myblog

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

the sexiest thing a man can be is only an extension of someone else. the sexiest thing a woman can be is angry. this is true

The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

is that a gun to the back of my head or are you just happy to see the back of my head?

"i think therefore i am" yeah well i jerk therefore i cum #bitch

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

I’m chained up in a basement and tortured + bleeding but I’m not an emaciated little twink so no one even cared enough to jack off to it

im going to fix my entire life