#myblog

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

the sexiest thing a man can be is only an extension of someone else. the sexiest thing a woman can be is angry. this is true

The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

is that a gun to the back of my head or are you just happy to see the back of my head?

"i think therefore i am" yeah well i jerk therefore i cum #bitch

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

I’m chained up in a basement and tortured + bleeding but I’m not an emaciated little twink so no one even cared enough to jack off to it

im going to fix my entire life