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Music For Cats Is Real And It’s The Purr-fect Way To Win Over Your Feline

Teie, a cellist with the National Symphony Orchestra, teamed up with animal scientists to develop Music For Cats, a collection of songs that will be catnip to your meowzer’s ears. What does this music sound like, exactly? “A series of whirring, lilting, and, at times, squeaky musical tracks designed for cats’ brains and ears.”

LISTEN HERE

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Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”

Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”

Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”

Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”

(I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)

Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”

(He turns to his blonde companion.)

Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way,potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”