west egg

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous

tried to google search for that post that's like.. something about squids and it goes "the squirterrrrrrrrr" and believe it or not that did not show me the thing i was looking for

hey guys ✌️ just checking in. "the squirter meme" didnt bring it up either

fuck you (runs your cast iron pan through a dishwasher cycle)

my wife, upon learning that pubes can be straight: Thats not bush,,, thats just grass

WAIT

anyways can someone drive me to the hospital

what state are you in?

pretty bad

YOUR LOCATION

Light that sucker up

Stop putting this christian baby in Situations

genuinely in love with the reveal, from the baby prodigy scenario, that Christian Baby does not refer simply to a baby baptised and born to christians, but to an infant that holds a belief in christian theology

I've never watched Scott Pilgrim but I'm reading about this animated Netflix series and apparently one of the reasons they were able to get the whole cast of the 2010 movie to reprise their roles is bc Michael Cera fucking responded to a 9 year old cast email thread out of nowhere as if no time had passed and got the cast all chatting with each other again

I like to say ____ jumpscare whenever I see something that I recognize

*walks into bookstore, sees Hall & Oates cd, is not jumped or scared whatsoever* omg Hall & Oates jumpscare

Nice work all

Posts that make you want to take world leaders hostage

deletes you forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [you still exist as metadata]

enough preg let's litigate a new fetish. step right up who's got a good one

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw