🐮🌱

after a couple hours chopping dried sea urchins into tiny pieces with a razor blade you start referring to the razor blade as yourself in your thoughts. a little while afterwards you'll inevitably think something along the lines of "i'm getting a bit dull, i'm going to have to throw myself out & get myself a new self" at which point your internal monologue has pretty much returned to baseline

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

i talk about transitioning and all anyone ever says is "I hope you don't regret it" what if instead we said I hope you love it. I hope it's everything you ever wanted. I hope you live the rest of your life in utter bliss. etc etc.

I hope you transition and I hope it's the best thing you ever did and I hope you never look back and I hope you finally feel comfortable in your own skin

New Folder (2) would be a beautiful name for a cool baby

Imagine if babies were named the same way that files were, so by default it's "New Baby" until the parents change it, and if you meet a "New Baby (2)" out in the wild and it's like a five year old that's a major sign of serial parental neglect

Only parents can reallocate names, so that means somebody called "New Baby" might just be an orphan. But "New Baby (2)" means that they had at least nine months to name the first baby before the second was born, and they just didn't give a fuck. Sad

If you want to get better at dialogue, sit down and listen to two people have a conversation and notice how often they say each other’s names while doing so. It’s far, far less than you think.

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

every time i try to check whats inside eggs stupid goop comes out

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

This is diabolical. Loud enough to notice, but virtually unidentifiable from a truck in motion. You pop the hood to see what's up and find nothing. You start it up and it doesn't make the noise. You go for a drive and it's fucking back. Psychological torture

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.