Ratphomet

Context:

OP: Don't go under a couple's wedding photos to call their relationship 'hetslop'. That's weird and rude and people have feelings

Minors can be polyamorous. Minors can have polyamorous parents or other relatives. Minors are not harmed in any way by exposure of polyamory. I knew I was polyamorous by the age of 12. I felt extraordinarily othered by the lack of representation.

Polyamory isn't inherently some super explicit NSFW thing.

It's literally no different from the "don't let same-gender relationships exist in video games!" argument.

Comments: The amount of pregnant man jokes that are just stand-ins for rape jokes is disturbing.

[Image ID 1: A userbox with a muted spring green border and a pale spring green background. In the left side box is clipart of a yellow seahorse. In a darker muted spring green font, it reads "Pregnant men are not a punchline." /End ID 1.]

More people are talking about TADC’s leaks in sympathy for Gooseworx than they are about her being silent on how she participated in racist jokes other than implying it was not “genuine” racism. Nobody seems to bring up Patricia “I am also limited in my ability to racially oppress due to being trans and disabled” Taxxon’s consistent racism, despite her becoming relevant again due to the latest incident with Hbomberguy. A lot of popular transfem bloggers on Tumblr have a history of racism too, but God forbid you bring it up.

I feel fucking crazy. What happened to “you are white before you are anything else”? So many popular trans women on here are specifically white trans women who you’re not allowed to point out have said racist shit that they still stand by, or you’re the bad person. You’re overreacting. You’re harassing a poor innocent white woman over nothing that actually matters, and you need to touch grass and learn what a real problem is. These women are allowed to wield their white woman tears by crying about how oppressed they are and how hard their lives are and how everybody is out to get them when criticized for racism, and people just BUY IT?? Not just buy it, but ENFORCE IT, harass others who DON’T buy it, accuse the ones who don’t buy it of, and I quote, LYNCHING her.

White trans women are not less likely to be racist than any other type of white person, but they’re treated like they are, and the notion they could be racist is treated as inherently ridiculous, defamatory, and transmisogynistic.

I think that some people need to come to grips with the fact that some of these women are blatantly, openly racist, and hide behind their disabilities/mental illnesses and their transness. We cannot be positioning white trans women as an authority on all systems of oppression, because white trans women are not the modern martyr for the oppressed voice. Black trans women have felt everything they have, 100 times worse. White trans women’s suffering is real, but suffering as a white woman is just so much different. And if we want the trans community to be safe for POC, we need to start actually calling racism from trans people out, instead of being the girl who cried transmisogynistic harassment campaign.

But this is the website that says a term coined by a Black trans woman to call out racism from white members of the transfem community is inherently transmisogynistic (even a transmisogynistic slur) and should never be used. So maybe I’m just talking to a (very racist) brick wall here.

A trans man who passes may access some surface-level male privileges (e.g., being taken more seriously in a work meeting, walking down a street with less harassment). However, that privilege is entirely contingent on stealth and passing. The moment his trans status is known via an ID, a medical situation, or a slip, that privilege evaporates and is replaced by a visceral transphobia. Unlike cis men, trans men do not hold systemic, institutional power over trans women. They cannot write anti-trans legislation, control medical boards, or enforce gendered bathroom panics.

Trans women bear the brunt of a violent intersection of transphobia and misogyny that makes them hypervisible, fetishized, and disproportionately targeted for fatal violence.

Trans men, conversely, often face erasure, infantilization, and dismissal.

The conflict arises when trauma gets misattributed. For some trans women, the invisibility trans men experience looks like safety and social acceptance. Resentment builds when they see a trans man moving through the world without the constant, aggressive scrutiny they face. But this conflates passing privilege with cis power, which are entirely different social currencies.

Cis society does not protect trans man as men (because it doesn't truly see them as men more often than not), and the patriarchy does not grant them the immunity that cis men enjoy.

This makes them a socially acceptable target within certain queer circles. For a traumatized trans woman, it is psychologically safer to project their anger onto a marginalized peer who cannot fight back with systemic force, rather than confronting the terrifying, structurally protected cisgender patriarchy.

Tumblr thrives on binary morality and trauma-sharing. Nuance, like saying trans men can hold misogyny but are not structurally oppressive to trans women, is lost in favor of viral, black-and-white accusations. These spaces often flatten intersectionality, forgetting that a trans man also experiences misogyny pre-transition and continues to face gynecological/medical discrimination post-transition.

This infighting is horizontal hostility. When an oppressed group cannot effectively fight the vertical power structure (the cis-hetero-patriarchy), they turn inward and fight each other over crumbs of perceived safety or privilege. The real winners of this infighting are the cis politicians and institutions writing the legislation that harms both trans men and trans women.

The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.

And I am not going to mince words here:

A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.

That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.

"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.