My favourite part of the Iliad is when the gods beat the shit out of each other like it’s the WWE and I would like to share the absolute fuckery going on in that chapter with the class
Ares tells Athena she’s a bitch and he’s totally gonna beat her
Athena throws a rock at him
Ares immediately collapses
Athena tells him he ain’t shit + ur mum doesn’t like u :)
Aphrodite tries to collect her boyfriend
Athena punches her in the tits
Poseidon want to fight Apollo fair and square
Apollo refuses because he doesn’t want to fight him over mortals since their lives are insignificant
Brother you’re the one that pretends the world is ending every time ur one night stand dies but go off ig
Then he just dips
Artemis calls him a little bitch
Hera asks if she wants to catch these hands
Artemis catches these hands
Artemis immediately runs crying to daddy
Hermes tells Leto that he won’t fight her because she fucked Zeus??
Ah yes Zeus, famous protector of women he fucked
Meanwhile Zeus sits on Olympus shitting himself laughing watching his family punch each other
Father of the year
Like imagine you’re unnamed trojan soldier nr. 647 and you watch all your godly allies fold like wet socks like guys, we are so cooked.
