“help” is my favorite way to say that something is funny. like hey i laughed at this post can you save me

i think we all need to complain about LED headlights more. please can we all complain about them more. night driving is nearly impossible for me to do now without having to white knuckle my way through a thousand evil suns. every time i see those headlights in my mirrors i take 2d6 radiant damage. i want to destroy every single LED headlight under my feet like they’re goombas

i used to work for a nature center and we would constantly have wild owls come and call out to the owls in their cages and try to 1.) get them to follow them or 2.) they were looking for a mate

ENIGMA. FUCK

i hate people who know chess. “i’m moving my rook to c2” okay man. i’m driving down I-65

if your weird enough with the homies you can break all boundaries of platonic/romantic love and make a third, more evil thing

a podcast...

apple blossomed trees / roots with the birds

the whole club was looking at worms