picturing griddlehark college/otherwise normal aus is so fucking funny. like. you meet this lesbian couple, right. one of them is on a full sports scholarship, she's big, beefy, a little lacking in social skills but obviously happy to try. she swears every other sentence, has a poster of megan fox in transformers in her bedroom like a 13 year old boy. she's got an anime girl phone background. she wears a black choker all the time which does NOT match her otherwise purely sun's-out-guns-out-paired-with-cargo-shorts type wardrobe.
the other one is a full head shorter than her and shaped like a stick, wears exclusively big, shapeless cardigans and skirts that reach her ankles, will not speak to anyone but the beefcake in full sentences if she can avoid it, and visibly has not slept in a week. the one time you convince her to speak, she ends up insulting you in the most unnecessarily graphic and specific terms you have ever heard, gives you a look which singlehandedly curdles every ounce of self-esteem you've ever possessed, and immediately returns her attention to studying.
one day, you finally work up the courage to ask how the fuck they met and why they're dating. they tell you that they both grew up in a small-town christian cult which the stick figure's parents actually led, beat the shit out of each other daily for their entire childhoods, and finally resolved their differences in their late teens and immediately ran away together. the stick figure twitches up a sleeve of her oversize black cardigan to reveal a bracelet made of the beefcake's baby teeth that she personally knocked out of her skull. the beefcake smiles at her like this is the height of romance. the only issue they will acknowledge in their relationship is that when she was little, the stick figure fell madly in love with a painting of the virgin mary and has never quite recovered. they've been married for 3 years. they are 20 years old.
also the beefcake wears the choker because the stick figure said "no" to dog collars in public.
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
