macy

When Tumblr goes premium let’s all use one account like netflix

the password is “shoelaces”

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d pronounce it as beige and she was so offended I’m crying thinking about it

One of my mom’s friends, Hugh, went to France and they had a lot of trouble pronouncing his name because the entire thing was silent.

salut je m'appelle [REDACTED]

i can’t believe that bernie sanders has an anger dome

Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

Yes it’s called the mammalian diving response and it’s also why doing face masks and taking a shower is soothing. Our amphibian ancestors used this mechanism to slow down the heartbeat and lower body temperature so as not to waste calories while swimming (which is very calorie intensive). It makes you feel safe because predators are less likely to get you in water than on land. The fish brain is alive and well in all of us.

My amphibian ancestors gave me the instinct to dissociate in the shower for hours on end

physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll

You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.

think about this for a second

i am coming down off anesthesia and i have a great idea for a text post hold on

when someone asks you if you know the letter after F

Do any of you wanna see a picture I took of some extremely powerful items

u know when i was 12 i just kinda assumed the cullens' cover story worked bc a 23 year old is obviously an Adult and no one would question why or how he adopted like five kids between the ages of 17 and 20 but now that im in my 20s i have come to the conclusion that everyone in forks knows the cullens are vampires bc they all took one look at carlisle "i look like im fresh out of undergrad but im a doctor i swear" cullen and his gaggle of nearly-adult "children" and collectively called bullshit