Total Solar Eclipse l Sigma Sreedharan l Burgos, Spain
Mike Driver
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@quin-ta-sential
Total Solar Eclipse l Sigma Sreedharan l Burgos, Spain

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A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.
Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.
What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.
Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.
What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.
Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.
What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.
Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.
It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
-Xanthe
Oh... That's what trauma bonding is. Oh.
I *also* didn't know that trauma bonding and love-bombing were... that. added to lexicon and course correcting...
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/trauma-bonding
it's another kind of grooming, age regardless - you put yourself in a position of power over someone and then exploit their need for intimacy or protection or affirmation
I need my whole life to change and I also need to go grocery shopping
Until death, all defeat is psychological.

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This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.
When I lived in London there was a murder of crows that lived near me. I fed them often, they brought me presents (shiny rubbish and cigarette butts they found on the floor to thank me.)
When I moved, I’m certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.
But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldn’t find me.
They adopted my friend and it was now my friend’s job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.
This was maybe 6-7 years ago.
I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friend’s flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.
We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.
Crows are the very best birds.
I want to befriend my local crows so bad. :(
this is helpful to getting started on anything regardless of what you call it (from this post)
problem solving steps
IMPROVE distress tolerance skill
The great thing about having friends and acquaintances across a variety of professions is to really hammer home as much as possible the fact there is literally zero correlation between the amount someone actually works, the amount they contribute to society, and how much they make in a year.
Hey artists, C. Spike Trotman, founder of Iron Circus Comics, just posted an invaluable thread on depicting different types of black hair. I’d do the thing where you screencap the whole thread and post it but it’s just too long (which is great because it’s a whole lot of useful information!) Give her a follow while you’re there.
Anyway, go check it out. I just wanted to save it and share it because I didn’t know how much I didn’t know!
This is an amazing resource, not only for artists, but for writers too! I love this!
{ID - tweet from @/Iron_Spike that reads, “Black Hair for Non-Black Artists: a Cheat Sheet Thread. Hi, folks! Just spur-of-the-moment decided to put together some reference for folks who want to draw/model black characters in their work, but arent confident they won’t make simple, obvious mistakes w/r/t black hair. END ID}
I noticed in the comments that some people can’t see the thread, so I took screenshots for y'all!
More will come in reblogs, since tumblr has an image limit
@creatingblackcharacters !!!
This is gonna be the huge appreciation post of clone armor by Duglas Wheatley, but I actually still dont understand how the reblog system works here so.....
I mean look at this he is so careful with details.....
from Star Wars: Dark Times 2006
look at them:>
from Star Wars: Purge 2005
I love commander Keller so much...so sad they gave him not so many panels
from Star Wars: Republic #79 #80
from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 2005
And Cody comic!!
from Routine Valor 2006
This man of genius!!

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The youth are lost
Not in a million years would I have ever thought of this
This is art
spent my teen years assuming my peers were exaggerating about enjoying music. i thought it was just another thing they were being dramatic and overinvesting in, like celebrity gossip and high school crushes and the twilight series. just another tedious cultural burden i had to grit my teeth and wait for my peers to outgrow
to be clear im not talking about their taste in bands or genres, although every generation has it's trends. i mean the fact they really really cared about music. in general. as a concept. bizarre to me.
(at the time, my primary point of reference was that as a kid I had experienced certain emotions listening to the Lion King)
if I was white boy that autism disgnosis wouldn't have taken 20 years and me sitting my doctors down gently to explain the situation
fucking love posting personal experiences on tumblr.hell so strangers can pop in with such tidbits as: "oh yeah there's a name for that symptom"
[video by soupygarbagejuice. original caption: stuie]
"I guess I would scream too if I knew a God could hear me" is too much of a raw line to come from a tik tok about a cat
vibes tbh
Truly one of the best Little Songs We All Make Up About Our Cats
Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”
There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”
There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.
okay look i know this isn't relevant to this post past the second paragraph but. here's the thing. the facts of the case are as follows:
1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019
2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later
3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass
4) this happens. all the time
more importantly:
5) my current partner is on tumblr
6) they love to incessantly send me posts
WHICH MEANS:
7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:
8) they really, really are ganging up on me with her. god help us if there's an afterlife and those two ever actually meet. "eternal rest" my ass, i will never know peace again
The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be done with it and the sooner you can stop thinking about it. Go on, up you get, it won't be as bad as you think.
You won't want to do it later either. You might as well just do it now. Even if you don't finish it all, anything you manage to get done now is something you don't have to do later (when you still won't want to do it)
If you're hungry and putting off making something, you'll be even more miserable later when you're more hungry. Best go do it now.

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having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible
And you are older than them