Q stands for Queer & Questioning

Hello! First things first, I think it's wonderful that you are exploring your sexual and romantic orientation. It can be a daunting task, and even moreso when you find that you don't fall neatly into the boxes and labels you've been given.

Short answer to your question—you're fine, you can be panromantic and straight/heterosexual.

Longer answer—it is pretty normal to have differences in who you are willing to date versus who you want to be sexually intimate with. While separating romantic and sexual identity is most common among ace and aro spectrum folk, it is by no means exclusive to those groups.

You also aren't being somehow homophobic/panphobic/etc. or misleading by claiming that label if it resonates with you. Some people might argue that, but it frankly isn't true. If an asexual person can be panromantic without being some flavor of -phobic, then so can a straight person.

You are also allowed and welcome to claim queer as a label. You're allowed to be a part of the lgbt+ and queer community.

don’t question someone else’s labels.  TRUST that they’ve done that already.  if they ask you for advice, fine, but DO NOT go in swinging.  don’t go up to a straight trans man and ask why he doesn’t identify as a lesbian.  don’t talk to non-binary people and tell them that their identity is a sham if they don’t transition.  don’t ask bi people when they’re going to pick a side.  don’t assume that someone who is ace is just repulsed by their own internalized homophobia.

like just… have respect for your fellow lgbtq+ folks because there are so few of us in an OCEAN of hetero-cisnormativity.  we don’t have to chip away at each other until only the Cardinal Few remain.  there is no reason that we can’t have space for the people who question, the people who change their minds, the people who dip a toe in and pull back out.  i am HERE for those people, just as much as i am HERE for the people who can write a dissertation on their attraction and knew from the moment they were born that they were Hella Gay.  

there is nothing simple about self-discovery and frankly, i’m not here on this earth long enough to scrutinize my fellow marginalized peoples.  there’s no reason to do that shit.  it does not, in fact, hurt queer people to be wholly accepting of any wayward identity.  non-dysphoric?  demi-gray-ace as hell?  don’t care, as long as you’re fighting on my side, because i’m fighting on yours.

it’s okay to use she/her pronouns but not want to be called a girl! it’s okay to use terms like brother or father for yourself but not go by he/him! it’s okay to be fine with “sister” but not “daughter!” it’s okay to use a title like “mr” but not want to be called a man! it’s okay to be a woman and not go by she/her!

I've looked into this as much as I can on my own but it seems a bit complex to me. I'm questioning and I don't reeeaally know who I am??? It's not super urgent or anything but it'd be nice to have a label sooo . . . Yeah brief description of how I feel, I guess:

I know I have a gender and i'm not genderless (which I think rules out agender? I'm not sure) but I'm also not male or female???? I kind of feels like I'm halfway. I also would proooobably rule out feeling both male and female, but that certainly is closer than a complete absence of gender, so . . .

But it can also be a gender label all on its own. In which case, it simply describes a gender that is not binary.

Genderqueer could work for you as well. It's another gender label that can work as an umbrella term or all on it's own. To put it simply, genderqueer is a gender that is queer or related to the person's queerness.

There are a lot more potential labels out there that could work for you, but I hope I at least got the ball rolling for you. If you would like, I could direct you to some places with more information (and more labels to consider!).

I found this wiki, which is a good place to start reading about different genders and the way people label them. Beware, this is an easy rabbit hole to fall down, and it can be a little overwhelming! Keep in mind, this list is not comprehensive and it isn't perfect. It's just a good place to start.

I compiled a few different labels that I personally think match with the way you were describing your gender, but keep in mind that these are my opinions. You don't have to agree with me or use any of these labels if you don't want to.

Aporagender - a gender and/or umbrella term for a gender that is separate from "male" or "female," but doesn't feel like a lack of gender

Genderqueer - a gender and/or umbrella term defined by queerness.

Maverique - a gender which is neither "male", "female", "neutral", or a mix of any of those, rather it is a separate gender entirely.

Neutrois - a gender that is not "male" or "female," or a mix of the two, but is neutral.

Nonbinary - (also: non-binary, non binary, nb, & enby) a gender and/or umbrella term that describes someone who is not wholly "male" or "female."

Queer - like genderqueer, an gender and/or umbrella term that describes someone who's gender is queer in some way.

Questioning - a label, umbrella term, and descriptor for someone who is questioning their gender, sexuality, romantic attraction, etc.

It's okay to change labels.

It's okay if you used the "wrong" label.

It's okay if you don't want to use any words at all to describe your sexuality or gender.

It's okay if the word you used to describe yourself no longer describes you.