💖💖💖

guy who gets home from being held hostage by another guy and the first thing he does is google “i think i like men”

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

(severely dehydrated voice) man i wonder why i want so much water and ice lately

Stories don't have expiration dates! AO3 is an Archive specifically so you can still read old stuff!!!

i swear to god NOTHING makes me more pissed off then when everyone is like “oouheuehghoughough ough [thing] is so good it’s a classic you’ll love it” and they say it SO OFTEN that you resolve on principle to loathe [thing] with your entire being but when you actually get around to experiencing [thing] it literally IS That Good. physically trembling with rage at the fact that hamlet actually is one of the best plays ever written. DIE

Bitch I don’t even know you. And you’re a deer.

oh this orange is going to be so fucking dry and juiceless

peeled off one of the sections and i was like that’s what bad pussy sounds like

That’s a yellow

i just turned 18 i can finally learn what "penis" is

JESUS CHRIST