awesome wow

“Cinema is dying how can we save it” if you have Kirk and Spock fuck NASTY in Star Trek AOS 4 you will make ten billion dollars.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Luke’s face is what makes this.

Maybe if we Ran away with Carly Rae Jepsen in 2015 none of this would have happened

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

i couldn’t play hockey bc if my teammate dropped the gloves to defend me i’d imprint on them

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

non sequitur ? uhhh ,i hope to be having a lot of seq uit her actually

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do