Perennial nerd

ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.

Pro Tip - Never drop the word wedding while planning if you don’t need to. Most things can be for “an event you’re planning.” This obviously doesn’t include things like the venue, DJ (who needs specific wedding songs), and the wedding dress company if you’re going that route versus just buying a dress.

For my wedding I got “discounted” cupcakes, flowers, decor, bridesmaids dresses, groomsman attire, and invitations. I did this by either searching for things that aren’t marketed for weddings or not telling the companies I was working with it was for a wedding. Because honestly, most of the time they don’t need to know why you’re ordering.

These companies target people planning their weddings and markup everything the second “wedding” is said. And it’s said often because people assume the services change exponentially for weddings. They absolutely do not. 

The best example are the cupcakes I had for my wedding. I used a designer cupcake store in town instead of spending $1000 on a wedding cake. If you place a large order of cupcakes with a cake tree for display - it costs about $150 for 100 (which is what I did). When you order their “wedding” package - the price raised to a $700 base for 100 cupcakes. The only other perk includes a “tasting.” Forget that. Our tasting was buying a few cupcakes in flavors we thought we’d like and picked three. It cost maybe $20. 

What these companies do is scummy and targets people who don’t have information about the event industry.

Made entirely of openly bisexual/queer men

Made entirely of men who are vocal about being raised by single mothers on welfare

One of their members was adopted and raised by a Black woman and has said he "understands how his mother could hate 'the white man' and love him with her whole soul."

Were the first band to say, "No Trump, No KKK, No Fascist/MAGA U.S.A." on live television without ANY warning.

Literally released a song last year called, "The American Dream Is Killing Me"

Only hires ALL FEMALE bands to open for them to address inequality in the music industry

OPENLY tells trump supporters they are not welcome at their concerts.

Anyway, Enjoy Feb. 8th Magats! You're gonna hate it. :)

Straight people are absolutely victims of homophobia. Girls too close friends with other girls. When a woman turns down a men and gets called a slur. Men doing anything perceived to be feminine. Years ago a cop tortured and killed his small child because he said the boy was gay. We will never know if that kid turned out to be gay because he wasn't killed for "being gay" but because his father's violent homophobia had him on the hunt for "signs" his child was queer.

Cis people are constantly victims of transphobia. Cis people get transvestigated, gender nonconforming people are attacked in bathrooms, people who "look" or "seem" trans are followed by cops and attacked by security guards. Anyone presenting in a way that doesn't align with the most rigid ideas of male and female are potential deviants who need punished.

White people are absolutely not victims of "reverse racism", but are still not necessarily "exempt" from being victimized by racism and antiblackness. The bar has shifted, and now more groups of white people enjoy being accepted into white supremacy who hadn't been previously--or were conditionally-- for example: Italians, Irish, and Jewish people. The entire concept of "race traitors" is a study on white people being brutalized by anti-Black racism. Racists hate Black folks so severely that white allies and partners are sometimes attacked and killed for it.

None of these people are the main targets of these bigotries, but their privileges are conditional still. Nonconformity and association with the "other" can get those privileges revoked.

But what we need to understand and understand well is that their victimhood in these scenarios is crucially not accidental. It is always a punishment for stepping out of line, either by potentially being the feared/hated category, or for "taking the side" of the feared/hated category. This is always intentional, and framing what happened to them as catching strays or that they aren't even really victims because they aren't the thing that they were hurt/killed over is extremely misguided and dangerous.

Defining ourselves by the violence done to us supports the idea that to exist as we are means to suffer. That a world where we can be ourselves without pain for being ourselves is impossible. It traps us in a cycle of hopelessness. And when we define ourselves by what is done to us, then those who experience what we do must be infringing somehow, because they ARENT us, so they cannot be victims like us. It cheapens their suffering, especially those harmed for allying with us because if to be one of us is such a doomed reality, what does that make someone who chooses to stand with us?

And it also cheapens our identities. It makes our identities and harm synonymous, creating a loop where violence is inevitable and a lack of violence is a lie. Anyone who isn't us is dangerous, and anyone who is us is only ever a victim like us.

It creates insular community that is just as capable of harm as the outsiders, and it deprives us of loving community who actually do know a bit about what it's like to be us, even if they aren't exactly like us.