GODD HOWARD TODD COWARD

good fucking morning *levitates towards you with ill intent*

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

Claudia is so fucking cool holy shit

love that kids are emo again. i love walking into the grocery store or goodwill and seeing some teenage emo kid all decked out walking around with their mom or something

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

Tumblr is like our elderly dog and when she makes an especially scary cough we apparently think "oh god it's the big one"

how to get up in the morning tutorial

how to get up in the morning walkthrough

how to get up in the morning tips and tricks

every person you meet will have one bit that only they find funny. it is important that you hate that bit as much as possible in order to enrich their experience of doing the bit. it is part of the enjoyment of the bit

yesterday my uber driver told me he stopped wearing glasses and just decided his eyes were better and I was like man as the passenger in this elantra I would like you to keep more secrets from me

White boy CONFUSES Mexican restaurant staff by ordering in perfect Mandarin.

i will replace chatgpt

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*