A while ago I had a bit of a first, where I introduced myself to a discord server as plural instead of transfem. I didnt know at the time that doing this basically makes people think you “dont count” as transfem, and that youre just using that label out of habit or something. The worst part is, that was the nicest Ive been treated in years.
No, seriously. I was no longer the 4channer klanfem male socialized little *bitch* that needed to be lectured. I was now an epic genderfuck icon to be listened to. Ive have never been listened to, not without constantly pushing for it. But now, I was practically a mentor to some of them. I was the elder queer who knew best. I barely even had to fucking *ask* for respect, I just got it.
I literally got to say, straight up, that I hated the egg prime directive shit. And you know, people listened to me? The one person that disagreed with me at least tried to explain himself. Normally id just get told to shut up or even made an example out of. No, this time I was worth talking to.
Its honestly been really demoralizing. I always knew queer community was a lie. I always knew that shit about “our transfem sisters” was lovebombing. But I never truly understood how many doors were closed, even by other trans people, to trans women.
This is why Im so bitter toward other trans people. Not because Im taking out my trauma or because of 4chan rhetoric or whatever the fuck. But because I know for a fact, every single time I engage in these stupid brick wall talks trying to convince my “community” of anything, every time I get the fucking lectures from my “siblings”, its all just the fucking she/her pronouns. If i was the epic genderfuck they wanted me to be and not the woman i really am, then most of my social ills would be completely gone.
