queenbookwench's royal hoard

[ID: A digital painting of a tiny gryphon in side profile. It is grey with a white chest and has a tiny fluffy tail. End ID]

Elrond be like: I am 4/8 human, 3/8 elf, and 1/8 angel. My mother is a bird and my father is the North Star. My twin brother was the first king of Atlantis but somehow I seem to be more famous than him. I am one of three ringbearers, the other two being the female version of Feanor and a guy who loves fireworks. My foster father is a crazy homeless guy who likes music and his whole family is dead. My many-greats grandnephew is in love with my daughter. No one can tell my sons apart. I like waterfalls and am both a glorified innkeeper and a top-notch doctor. I am the voice of reason no one listens to.

I've never read a more succinct and hilarious Elrond biography 🤣🙂

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

hating the catcher in the rye is actually very understandable. nothing happens and it’s miserable and if the narrative voice annoys you you will not have any fun. but people who shit on it don’t say that they just make up a holden caulfield to get mad at

like first of all it's a book about sexual violence. so jot that down. but even on a level of text-not-subtext, holden caulfield calling other people phonies and fakes is not because he’s some hipster who thinks he’s the only #real person on earth it's because he’s a teenager who has learned from incredible trauma (the death of his eleven-year-old brother with cancer + implied CSA) that the world is often hard and cruel and nobody protects kids. and yet every adult around him and half his peers are pretending this isn’t true and spitting out empty platitudes and doing nothing to soften or reduce any of that cruelty. literally nobody is trying to make it easier or protect anyone, or at least if they're trying they're not succeeding. but when you are a teenager with no rights you can't call bullshit so he just has to nod and thank people for their meaningless cliches about life as they fail to do anything to make anything better for anyone. because being a teenager sucks and nobody cares what you think or how much it hurts! bitch! i’d be a judgy little dickhead too! i was!