whoopsie daisy

I have a medical condition where no matter how many people are in a room I will find the one person who likes me the absolute least and become desperate for their approval

I spoke to the doctor about this and she prescribed 100mg of "stop giving a fuck about people who hate you", hiding it in a spoonful of peanut butter labeled "the people who care about you deserve more of your time"

still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.

we were lonely kids having fun together. do you remember?

I really like this website because somebody will be like “there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic, bootlicker” and you can be like okay this clearly evolved from a valid point about how the US is too car-centric. But something happened to it.

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

it is crazy to me that they made the arizona region a barren wasteland and the England region a thriving wilderness... you got those backwards bud

its fucked up that chastity is a lame boring christian virtue like excuse me what are you doing in my sex pervert world

i went to high school with a girl who had super religious relatives and her cousin’s name was chastity that’s so fucked up. that’s like naming your child frottage or latex. wait actually latex is an awesome name i take that back you should name your child latex

I feel like this is what Robert Pattinson sees in his peripheral vision whenever he's doing an interview.

it’s like a spot the difference game with you people

this is the most important addition to a post I’ve ever seen in my life