If I hear “I’m a people pleaser” one more time. Whole time they’re a people agitator. A people disappointer. A people exhauster.
…
i try to please people… but i don't think i can ever make everyone happy.
but how else can i define my self worth, if not through making others happy?
see how that was exhausting
Thought experiment to all the "people pleasers": imagine you find out everyone who calls themselves your friend is just with you out of pity and gets no enjoyment from it. You are doing the exact same shit but call it a pretty name
Can you explain? I do this shit and I'm trying to figure it out but I don't get this one exactly.
I think it's best explained with the real life exaple of why I feel strongly about people pleasers. My experience with a people pleaser was that she kept hanging out with me despite not enjoying my company to the point where she exploded, blamed me for her anxiety and broke the friendship. This all happened out of the blue despite me asking multiple times to tell me if she was ok with me talking about problems in my life with her (but not exclusively because of that). Because she was a people pleaser she did not establish any boundaries to ensure my comfort and I only found out it had been hurting her all the time when she reached her limit and exploded on me. I spent quite some time after that absolutely paranoid about all my friends actually being people pleasers who hated being with me but didn't know how to say no and to this day I sometimes have to seek reassurance that my friends actually enjoy whatever activity they're doing with me and are not just agreeing to keep me happy while slowly building up their hate towards me.
The healthiest thing you can do in a relationship is say no. If my friend at any point had said "I'd rather not talk about this topic" or "I would like to stop playing this game" there would have been no problem.
Even if it had not exploded on my face and caused me psychological issues, I want to live in a world in which my friends are happy for real, not pretending to be happy for my comfort. The idea that someone I care about could be lying and stepping over their own comfort "for my sake" feels horrible.
