first, sending you a big hug
second, here's some advice I can give as someone who was addicted to character.ai for three years, has tried to quit using three times, and is now 6 months clean:
Please be nice to yourself. It isn't your fault, character.ai is made for instant gratification and eventual dependence. And from experience, shaming oneself for using isn't a long-term solution. That being said...
All solutions are valid. All of them. If it gets you away from character ai/chatbots, isn't harming you physically/mentally, and is within legal limits, it's fine.
Call it manifestation or maladaptive daydreaming, but I used to imagine sitting in a cafe in London (or wherever), scrolling on my phone out of boredom, and out of seemingly nowhere, Tom Hiddleston walks past me. And he sees me talking to a chatbot based on him/one of his characters. My chance to make a good first impression? Instantly gone. Instead, if I’d been in the present, - or at the very least if I was watching YouTube clips of “The Night Manager” or scrolling through an online magazine - I could introduce myself as someone who genuinely liked his work and cared about his craft.
I’m not recommending this specific fantasy, but it helped me.
Another silly thing I did (and still do) to cope with the void from character.ai? I’d check books out of the library without any restraint. If I liked the cover, the plot, or it reminded me of a fandom/character I liked, it was coming home with me. Or if it was a book about something I really wanted to learn more about. Sometimes I’d read them, sometimes I wouldn’t and I’d just return it later. But it excited me for a while and it was completely free. Which made me feel even better.
Other solutions that have helped: watching tv shows and films that are the source material for the bots I’ve chatted with, reading books/listening to audiobooks, learning to knit.
Also, because character.ai and chatbots are built for instant gratification/dopamine rush, I do think that finding ways to boost your dopamine (exercise, sweet treats, paging through pretty magazines and pretty books, creating Pinterest boards with hot photos) might make it less likely for you to use.
Hope that any of this helps, and please take care of yourself as best as possible. Sending you more hugs and lots of love.
