unbowed, unbent, unqualified

Was your character raised in an interfaith household?

Does she struggle to know what to believe in anymore?

Is she constantly used as a pawn by political leaders who want to kill her family and steal her claim to her homeland?

On rereads however, I end up side-eyeing Benjen and understanding where Jon was coming from in his response.

The starting sentence of Jon I is genius in how as we keep reading the chapter, there’s a realization that what he is actually feeling is the very opposite of what is stated:

There were times—not many, but a few—when Jon Snow was glad he was a bastard  - Jon I, AGoT

This is similar to Arya saying that she didn’t care about not being pretty. She did care, that’s why she has such low self-esteem and is hurt when mocked as being horse-faced and ugly. The truth is that it’s times like the feast when Jon Snow is reminded that he is a bastard - and those times are not happy times.

Jon I, AGoT starts with Jon seated among the squires at a bench, starkly reminded of the difference between him and his half siblings. He sees Robb escort the princess and Theon ignore him on his way to the dais. His commentary bubbles with envy and bitterness. He describes Myrcella as ‘insipid’ because Robb gets to accompany a princess. He tries to make himself feel better by getting drunk and counting that as an advantage over his siblings. Life is unfair and, at that moment, Jon feels strongly how unfair it is.

So this a low point for Jon Snow and he is getting drunk to numb the pain of being a bastard, and here comes Benjen telling him to sire some bastards!

Benjen Stark stood up. “More’s the pity.” He put a hand on Jon’s shoulder.

“Come back to me after you’ve fathered a few bastards of your own, and we’ll see how you feel.”

Jon trembled. “I will never father a bastard,” he said carefully. “Never!” He spat it out like venom. - Jon, AGoT

There’s so much emotion here. The words used - ‘trembled’, ‘Never’, ‘Spat’, ‘Venom’ - encapsulates the absolute disgust Jon has for Benjen’s suggestion. And at that moment, with Jon looking at his siblings seated across him on the dais, I can totally understand his reaction to Benjen.

And it’s an ongoing theme in Jon’s relationship with Ygritte. Robb and Theon, who grew up with Jon, don’t have the same hang ups that Jon does in regards to their sexual partners. Well, Robb did to a certain extend in terms of marrying Jeyne Westerling so that he wouldn’t be responsible for a bastard who would have to grow up as Jon did or worse.

But since we have Jon’s POV, we get to read how he feels ashamed and almost disgusted by sex in AGoT and ACoK. And it’s not just because of his vows of celibacy either. He cheapens the act as being between ‘a pair of rutting dogs’

“You are a free man now, and Ygritte is a free woman. What dishonor if you lay together?”

“I might get her with child.”

“Aye, I’d hope so. A strong son or a lively laughing girl kissed by fire, and where’s the harm in that?”

Words failed him for a moment. “The boy … the child would be a bastard.”

“Are bastards weaker than other children? More sickly, more like to fail?”

“No, but—”

“You’re bastard-born yourself. And if Ygritte does not want a child, she will go to some woods witch and drink a cup o’ moon tea. You do not come into it, once the seed is planted.”

“I will not father a bastard.”  - Jon, ASoS

The proving had been so sweet, though, and Ygritte had gone to sleep beside him with her head against his chest, and that was sweet as well, dangerously sweet. He thought of the weirwoods again, and the words he’d said before them. It was only once, and it had to be. Even my father stumbled once, when he forgot his marriage vows and sired a bastard. Jon vowed to himself that it would be the same with him. It will never happen again. - Jon, ASoS

Remember in AGoT when Jon repeats Maester’s Luwin’s ignorant bigotry about bastards growing up faster?

Uncle Benjen studied his face carefully. “The Wall is a hard place for a boy, Jon.”

“I am almost a man grown,” Jon protested. “I will turn fifteen on my next name day, and Maester Luwin says bastards grow up faster than other children.” - Jon, AGoT

As bastards they are brought up hearing how they are treacherous (Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard’s heart ) or lusty.

Everyone knew that bastards were wanton and treacherous by nature, having been born of lust and deceit. - Jon, ASoS

That’s why Jon’s thoughts on marrying Val and having children are different to what he had with Ygritte. What Stannis offers him is the choice to have legitimate children.

I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. - Jon, ASoS

Arianne Martell: The female heir to Dorne who demands recognition and acknowledgement and refuses to be passed over.

“You will not rob me of my birthright!”

Wylla Manderly: Grandaughter of Wyman Manderly, insults the Freys in front of a hall full of people and refuses to be married off. And she has green hair which is pretty sick.

“He was our king! He was brave and good, and the Freys murdered him. If Lord Stannis will avenge him, we should join Lord Stannis”

Val: Sister of mance Rayder’s wife Dalla (who has also been cut) said to be extremely beautiful yet is fiercely independent and strong.

“I am no southron lady but a woman of the free folk. I know the forest better than all your black cloaked rangers. It holds no ghosts for me.”

Mya Stone: One of Robert Baratheon’s bastards, lives in the vale and is in charge of helping people up to the Eyrie.

“Men come and go. They lie, or die, or leave you. A mountain is not a man, though, and stone is a mountain’s daughter. I trust my father, and I trust my mules. I won’t fall.”

Lady Stoneheart: *spoiler alert or not really because she won’t be in the show* Catelyn Stark resurrected seeking revenge on the Frey’s and leading the Brotherhood without banners (there’s your revenge plot D&D)

“She don’t speak. You bloody bastards cut her throat too deep for that. But she remembers.”

Asha Greyjoy: not to be confused with whoever “Yara” Greyjoy is, Asha does not believe in flippantly calling people “cunts” and is not scared of dogs.

“My mother raised me to be bold”

Alysane Mormont: Fights with Stannis’ army and guards Asha when she is captured (oops not really spoilers again) and don’t tell me that they don’t become best friends because they do.

“Mormont women are skinchangers. We turn into bears and find mates in the woods.”

Barbrey Dustin: The widow of Lord Dustin, hates the Starks because she blames Ned for the death of her husband. She is cunning, intelligent and one of Roose Bolton’s biggest supporters in Winterfell (but you know in the show no northern lords are in Winterfell because logic)

”The bride weeps … Dressing her in grey and white serves no good if the girl is left to sob. The Freys might not care, but the northmen … they fear the Dreadfort, but they love the Starks.“