Silva Obscura

You wake with Kodiak’s arm locked around your waist, keeping you in place. You’re still wearing his shirt but it’s hiked up in your sleep, so your bare back is pressed against his chest, skin to skin. Everything is dark and quiet; you can feel the slow rise and fall of Kodiak’s breathing.

Kodiak shifts behind you in his sleep. He’s hard: you can feel him pressed against your ass and can’t help grinding backwards. Kodiak stirs, groping sleepily at your breasts. You squirm a little, both pleased and embarrassed by how much you enjoy him treating you like a stress toy. 

“Good morning.” Kodiak’s voice is low and gruff from sleep. He grinds into you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. He trails a hand down your midriff, sliding between your legs to test your wetness. You let out a faint whine, still swollen and sensitive from last night. 

Kodiak slips an arm under you, pulling your back flush against his chest. He slides easily inside you, letting out a low noise of approval. He takes his time, slow and intimate, making sure you feel every slow drag against your walls. You bite your lip, unable to hold in your moans. Kodiak guides your hands upwards to cover your mouth. 

“Keep yourself quiet,” he orders. “I want to touch you.”

The position lets him move you however he wants, touch you however he wants. The surrender of it makes you feel safe.

“Reminds me of that first night,” Kodiak murmurs into the shell of your ear. “You were wearing my shirt then too.”

You match his rhythm, letting out a series of moans and gasps into your palm. You’re more sure of yourself this time; you hear Kodiak make an approving noise into your hair. 

“It kills me I don’t get to hear you properly.” Kodiak pushes into you with slow, deep strokes. “Just once I want to hear you screaming my name.”

“Kodi.” You let out his name as a low moan, grinding back against him.  

“Such a good girl for me.” Kodiak caresses your breasts, his thumb brushing over your nipple. You feel a flutter low in your stomach, half arousal, half apprehension. It bothers you that he wouldn’t admit he was angry with you yesterday: it makes it hard to trust that the resentment isn’t still there, simmering under the surface. “I bet you’d do anything I told you right now.”

You shake your head. You make a noise of protest but it comes out as a choked and needy whine. 

Kodiak’s rasp of laughter stirs the hair around your ear. You can feel his breath hot on your cheek. “Let’s see if you can come on command.” 

You hold back, not wanting to prove him right. You can feel your orgasm building in you, like a wave cresting before it breaks. Kodiak presses a kiss against the shell of your ear, his fingers massaging your clit. 

“No one is ever going to get you like I do. Not your friends out there. Not anyone back home.”

You feel your thighs begin to tremble, your internal muscles begin to flutter around Kodiak. 

“No one’s going to fuck you like I do either.” Kodiak covers your mouth and ruts into you, fucking you through your orgasm. Pleasure tears through you, hot and bright, more powerful after you tried to fight it. Your hand clenches over your mouth, catching a strangled cry in your palm. 

You’re still dazed and trembling with aftershocks when Kodiak shoves you onto your belly. 

“Any time you feel tired or sore today,” Kodiak whispers roughly into your ear. “You’re going to remember it’s because of me.”

You let out a stifled moan. 

“If you want to act like a little slut I’m going to treat you like one.” Kodiak thrusts into you almost lazily, the roll and swell of his body carrying yours with it. You can’t help clenching around him at the degradation; Kodiak laughs darkly into your ear. “I’m going to remember this too,” he tells you. “Any time you talk back or act like a brat, I’m going to remember having you pinned under me, taking my cock, unable to hide how much you like it.”

Kodiak moves his hand to your throat, curling your fingers with just enough pressure to turn your breathing shallow. 

“Say you belong to me.” 

You hesitate. You’re so dazed with pleasure that it’s difficult to string the words together. 

“Princess,” Kodiak tells you. “I would love to fuck the answer out of you.”

“I-I’m yours.”

“Not what I asked.”

“I belong to you.” 

You whisper it like it’s a shameful admission. It seems rawer somehow than telling him you’re his, as though he’s asking something of you you don’t fully understand. 

Kodiak repositions you, bundling the blankets up and shoving them under your hips so he can hit deeper. You bite down on your arm to keep yourself quiet. Despite yourself, you can’t help matching his rhythm. Kodiak thrusts into you, rough but controlled, his fingers tight around your throat. You feel your desire begin to crest again but Kodiak comes first, his face buried in your hair, his weight pressing you down as he goes slack with a throaty groan. 

“Did you?” he asks, nipping the outer edge of your ear between his teeth and then soothing the spot with a kiss. He props himself onto his elbows, his body caging yours without crushing it. 

“Almost.” You don’t mind: he got you off once already. 

“Almost isn’t good enough.” Kodiak slides a hand underneath you, teasing your swollen bundle of nerves until you come hard around his softening cock. When he speaks again, he sounds faintly strangled. “God, you’re so fucking hot.”

You make a contented noise in the back of your throat, too blissed out to make a more coherent response. Kodi rolls you both onto your sides, repositioning you so he can kiss your neck, massage your breasts. You crane your neck to kiss him. 

“Are you still mad at me?” You only ask it now that you’re sure he’s not. 

“Right now I’m extremely pleased with you,” Kodi murmurs between kisses. 

“I mean it,” you tell him, your voice soft. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Oh you’ve more than made up for that.” Kodi tugs at the hem of the shirt you borrowed from him. “We should get washed before your friends wake up.” 

Kodiak pulls back to look at you, his expression soft and unguarded, his eyes creased in the corners with a smile. 

“Already?” There’s a faint grey quality to the light filtering through the canvas: you estimate you have half an hour or more until sunrise and longer until the others wake. 

“Get dressed.” Kodiak brushes a teasing kiss against your lips. “I want to show you something.” 

Kodiak leads you through the silent campsite and towards the river. His hand is warm in yours and you keep his jacket wrapped around you. 

“The water’s going to be freezing.” You press into Kodiak’s side, more because you want to be close to him than because you’re actually cold. The roar of the waterfall blurs the grey pre-dawn air; the air is wet, with  spray or mist you can’t say. You come to an eroded stone pool, deep enough to stand in. The water is clear as glass and you know just from looking at it that it’s going to be ice cold. 

“We couldn’t have washed in the tent?” You clutch your borrowed jacket around yourself. 

“Princess, we both stink of sex. You’re the one who wants to keep this secret.” Kodiak eases the jacket over your shoulders, so it drops onto the rocky river’s edge. “So strip.”

He starts shrugging off his own clothes and you can’t resist sneaking a look at him. You thought you knew his body pretty well by now but it’s different like this, when there’s room to see all of him at once, rather than the two of you crammed close in the darkness of his tent. You let your eyes linger on the hard planes of his muscles. Everything about him seems like he belongs here: he’s scarred, sunbeaten, as though the Wilderness carved him into its own shape. 

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to get my stitches wet?”

“For the first forty eight hours. Stop making excuses.”

Kodiak eases himself into the water: he grimaces, breath escaping in a low hiss before he turns and grins up at you. Now it’s his turn to watch you strip and he makes no effort to hide his enjoyment; you can feel the heat of his gaze warm you, despite the chill morning air. 

“You do that any slower it’s going to qualify as a strip tease,” he grins up at you, flashing teeth. 

You finish undressing and gingerly lower yourself so you’re sitting on the rocky edge of the pool, toes dipping experimentally in the water. The sudden chill is enough to make you yelp and snatch your foot back. 

“How can you stand that?” You raise your voice over the roar of the waterfall. 

“Guess I’m tougher than I look. Now are you coming in or do I have to make you?”

“Not a chance.” You settle for splashing the chill water gingerly over your legs. You’ll have to have a very quick, efficient cat bath. 

“Who says you get a say?” Kodiak catches you around the waist and pulls you in. The noise of the rushing water covers your wordless shout. The cold knocks the breath out of you, making you cling to him reflexively. “C’mere, I got you.”

His hands glide over you, lingering on your breasts, working down your sides to your hips and then your thighs. You twist with embarrassed arousal as he helps you wash, batting away your hands when you try to cover yourself. The current is strong enough that you can feel it try to knock you sideways, the rounded river rocks treacherous under your bare feet. You almost lose your footing and grab Kodiak’s arm to steady yourself. 

“Let me help you, Princess.” Kodiak smirks, leaning over you, your body anchored to his. 

“Please.” You try to sound unaffected but you teeth are chattering a little from the cold. You cling to Kodiak, trying to borrow a little of his warmth. “We both know this is just an excuse to feel me up.”

“Since when do I need an excuse to feel you up?” Kodiak squeezes a generous handful of your ass. 

“Seriously, again?” you look up at him, pleadingly. “I’m sore.”

Kodiak chuckles. “Relax, I had something else in mind.”

Kodiak picks you up bodily around the waist and lifts you onto the rocky ledge at the river’s bank. He spreads your legs, leaning his elbows on your thighs and looking up at you with a grin that makes something hot and tight twist inside your stomach. 

“Make as much noise as you want: no one’s going to hear anything over the waterfall.” Kodiak grips one of your thighs, lifting it over his shoulder. It throws you off balance; you throw your arms out behind you to avoid falling, your back arching, your breasts jutting out. “Stay exactly like that.”

Kodiak dips his head down, kissing a line along your inner thigh. You squirm a little until Kodiak grips your hipbones and holds you still. 

You're so sensitive that every touch is like electricity. You can’t help but let out a pitchy moan as soon as his mouth brushes your core. 

“Don’t worry,” Kodiak draws back a little, teasing. “I’ll go slow. I want to savour this.”

You don’t want him to go slow. Arousal fills you so completely you feel yourself straining at the seams. Kodiak draws things out, bringing you to the edge and keeping you there. The friction of his beard is a stark contrast to how gentle he’s being and you arch toward him, one calf hooked over his shoulder to press him closer, biting down so hard on your lip you’re scared you’ll leave a mark. Kodiak draws back, pinching your thigh hard. 

“Stop holding back. I want to hear you.”

Kodiak spreads your legs wider, swirling his tongue around your clit and then sucking hard enough to draw an involuntary cry out of you. The heat of his mouth is a delicious contrast to the cool morning air. You’re chilled from the water, arousal glowing like a hot coal inside you in a way that makes you feel feverish. Kodiak draws more noises out of you, your moans and gasps blending with the rushing water. You fist your hand into his hair and grind shamelessly against his mouth, desperate for release. Kodi gives it to you, so intense against your overstimulated flesh it’s almost painful. You feel yourself arch, your thighs clamping around his head, his name escaping you as a choked shout. 

You feel yourself turn limp and boneless. Kodiak pushes you onto your back as he kisses your inner thigh. You try to wriggle away when you realise he’s leaving a mark but he holds you still until he’s ready, finishing with a final kiss on your swollen sex. You sit up, still shaky with the afterglow. Kodiak pulls you to him, holding you against his chest as the water swirls around your waist. 

“No more marks,” you tell him, as his head dips to kiss along your collarbone, sucking on the fading lovebite. You push at his ineffectively, too blissed out to make much of an effort. 

“You’re complaining a lot for someone who just came for the third time this morning.” Kodiak’s beard rasps against your skin as he speaks. “I earned this.”

“We could get caught.”

“That’s what makes it fun. Now stop squirming or I’ll drop you.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, pressing closer to him as the heat from earlier wears off. Kodiak makes an approving noise against your skin, his teeth scraping lightly over the sensitive flesh. When he pulls back you catch sight of it, stark and vivid. Then he boosts you up onto the rocks at the river’s edge and climbs up after you. You’re losing heat quickly, shivering worse somehow now you’re out of the water. Kodiak wraps his overshirt around you, dries you almost tenderly. He holds you still after, for a few seconds that feel longer, the pad of his thumb brushing over the marks he made. 

“Happy?” you ask him, before you pull yourself free and hurriedly pull on your clothes. You’re trying to sound cool and detached but your voice shakes a little as you rewind your bandages. 

Kodiak looks up from buttoning his pants and grins. “What do I have to be unhappy about? C’mere, let me warm you up.”

He wraps his jacket around you and you bury yourself into the wellworn sheepskin lining. It smells of him: leather, whatever hair gel he uses, crushed pine needles and something earthy under it. Kodiak sinks down onto a dry stretch of rock, pulling you with him so he can rest a heavy arm over your shoulders, pulling you into his side. 

“Better?”

“Told you I’d freeze.”

Kodidak snorts. “You made it through winter out here. A little cold water won’t kill you.” 

It’s the closest he’s come to complimenting your survival skills. You rest your head against his chest, let him rub warmth into your arm. You both sit quietly for a while, listening to the roar of the falls. 

“Look.” Kodiak raises his arm towards the rushing water. “That’s what I wanted to show you.”

You turn to look. The dawn light has hit the falls, turning the spray into a fractured mass of rainbows. The sight makes your heart catch in your throat. Kodiak doesn’t push you but you can feel him watching you watch the falling water. It occurs to you that he must have planned this when he chose where to camp; even angry at you, he still wanted to share this with you. You’re not sure what to do with that but the thought seems to glow inside your chest, warming you from within. 

“Are we okay?” You don’t know where the words come from; you just hate to think of him still being mad at you. 

Kodiak presses a kiss into your hair. “Yeah. We’re okay. I just can’t figure you out sometimes.”

You lean closer into him, watching the glistening spray rising off the falls. 

“Nothing ever happened between me and Travis. Ever. I swear.”

“It would be okay if it had.” Kodiak says unprompted. “You’re nineteen. You’ve been stuck out here a long time. You could tell me.”

You turn to him. You’re still tucked under his shoulder, so you have to tilt your head up to look him in the eye.

“This feels like a trap.”

Kodiak makes a face, his brows furrowing. “I mean, I wouldn’t be happy about it. But you’re allowed a past.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you glance back towards the falling water. The effect is less spectacular now dawn has broken but you still see a shimmer of colour here and there. 

“I care about you.” Kodiak’s breath stirs your hair. 

You turn to face him, almost startled. You didn’t realise until now, how much you’ve been waiting to hear it. You think it’s harder to hear it now, when you’re about to lose him, than never to hear it at all.  

“You do?”

Kodiak studies you for a long moment. Then he smiles but it’s not the easy smile you’re used to from him: this is practiced, guarded. 

“You know, you could always say it back.”

“No, I do, of course I do.” You pull back without meaning to. “I just didn’t think you would.”

Kodiak laughs, not because it’s funny. “What’s it going to take to convince you? Skywriting?”

“No, it’s just…you shouldn’t.” You look away because it’s easier than facing him while you say it. “You wouldn’t, if you knew what I’d done.”

Your voice sticks hot and choking in your throat. 

Kodiak squeezes your shoulder tentatively, as though he expects you to pull away. 

“Look, I know I give your friends a hard time about it. You did what you had to.”

“You don’t know what I did though.” Your voice comes out small, choked. You feel tears rising and try to fight them back. Kodiak says you’re allowed a past without knowing what yours entails. He saw what remained of Ben but he has no idea what led up to it. He doesn’t know that you killed a child. He doesn’t know that Travis is the only one of you who spoke up for Natalie. He doesn’t know the thing you won’t even admit to yourself: that once the hunt took you over you really wanted to kill her. Not because of anything she’d done. But because you were so sick of starving and feeling powerless and here finally was something you could control. You’re horrified at yourself. The thought of seeing that same horror reflected back at you in Kodiak’s face makes panic claw at your insides. 

“You could tell me.” Kodiak’s voice is so gentle it almost doesn’t sound like him. 

You shake your head. “I can’t. You’ll hate me.”

“I won’t–”

“You should hate me.” Something tears inside your chest as you say it and then you don’t trust your voice. Tears well hot and prickling in the corners of your eyes, falling as your shoulders shake. 

“Yeah well.” Kodiak wraps his arm tighter around you, resting his chin against the crown of your head. You can feel a new tension in him: worried and confused. He presses a gentle kiss into your hair, lets you cry. “I should do a lot of things I don’t.”

[Masterlist]

Taglist: @lisie-loves-u @nofear-dickyhallorann @dontwanttobeanamericanidiot @theistic-theater @foggyturtleknightangel @galwatchinggeese

A/N: What's that? Reader's inability to believe Kodi likes her is becoming PLOT RELEVANT? Please don't be mad at me: she will get a chance to say it back very soon. Thanks so much to everyone for all your encouragement: it really does help so much in getting these out.

You wake with Kodiak’s arm locked around your waist, keeping you in place. You’re still wearing his shirt but it’s hiked up in your sleep, so your bare back is pressed against his chest, skin to skin. Everything is dark and quiet; you can feel the slow rise and fall of Kodiak’s breathing.

Kodiak shifts behind you in his sleep. He’s hard: you can feel him pressed against your ass and can’t help grinding backwards. Kodiak stirs, groping sleepily at your breasts. You squirm a little, both pleased and embarrassed by how much you enjoy him treating you like a stress toy. 

“Good morning.” Kodiak’s voice is low and gruff from sleep. He grinds into you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. He trails a hand down your midriff, sliding between your legs to test your wetness. You let out a faint whine, still swollen and sensitive from last night. 

Kodiak slips an arm under you, pulling your back flush against his chest. He slides easily inside you, letting out a low noise of approval. He takes his time, slow and intimate, making sure you feel every slow drag against your walls. You bite your lip, unable to hold in your moans. Kodiak guides your hands upwards to cover your mouth. 

“Keep yourself quiet,” he orders. “I want to touch you.”

The position lets him move you however he wants, touch you however he wants. The surrender of it makes you feel safe.

“Reminds me of that first night,” Kodiak murmurs into the shell of your ear. “You were wearing my shirt then too.”

You match his rhythm, letting out a series of moans and gasps into your palm. You’re more sure of yourself this time; you hear Kodiak make an approving noise into your hair. 

“It kills me I don’t get to hear you properly.” Kodiak pushes into you with slow, deep strokes. “Just once I want to hear you screaming my name.”

“Kodi.” You let out his name as a low moan, grinding back against him.  

“Such a good girl for me.” Kodiak caresses your breasts, his thumb brushing over your nipple. You feel a flutter low in your stomach, half arousal, half apprehension. It bothers you that he wouldn’t admit he was angry with you yesterday: it makes it hard to trust that the resentment isn’t still there, simmering under the surface. “I bet you’d do anything I told you right now.”

You shake your head. You make a noise of protest but it comes out as a choked and needy whine. 

Kodiak’s rasp of laughter stirs the hair around your ear. You can feel his breath hot on your cheek. “Let’s see if you can come on command.” 

You hold back, not wanting to prove him right. You can feel your orgasm building in you, like a wave cresting before it breaks. Kodiak presses a kiss against the shell of your ear, his fingers massaging your clit. 

“No one is ever going to get you like I do. Not your friends out there. Not anyone back home.”

You feel your thighs begin to tremble, your internal muscles begin to flutter around Kodiak. 

“No one’s going to fuck you like I do either.” Kodiak covers your mouth and ruts into you, fucking you through your orgasm. Pleasure tears through you, hot and bright, more powerful after you tried to fight it. Your hand clenches over your mouth, catching a strangled cry in your palm. 

You’re still dazed and trembling with aftershocks when Kodiak shoves you onto your belly. 

“Any time you feel tired or sore today,” Kodiak whispers roughly into your ear. “You’re going to remember it’s because of me.”

You let out a stifled moan. 

“If you want to act like a little slut I’m going to treat you like one.” Kodiak thrusts into you almost lazily, the roll and swell of his body carrying yours with it. You can’t help clenching around him at the degradation; Kodiak laughs darkly into your ear. “I’m going to remember this too,” he tells you. “Any time you talk back or act like a brat, I’m going to remember having you pinned under me, taking my cock, unable to hide how much you like it.”

Kodiak moves his hand to your throat, curling your fingers with just enough pressure to turn your breathing shallow. 

“Say you belong to me.” 

You hesitate. You’re so dazed with pleasure that it’s difficult to string the words together. 

“Princess,” Kodiak tells you. “I would love to fuck the answer out of you.”

“I-I’m yours.”

“Not what I asked.”

“I belong to you.” 

You whisper it like it’s a shameful admission. It seems rawer somehow than telling him you’re his, as though he’s asking something of you you don’t fully understand. 

Kodiak repositions you, bundling the blankets up and shoving them under your hips so he can hit deeper. You bite down on your arm to keep yourself quiet. Despite yourself, you can’t help matching his rhythm. Kodiak thrusts into you, rough but controlled, his fingers tight around your throat. You feel your desire begin to crest again but Kodiak comes first, his face buried in your hair, his weight pressing you down as he goes slack with a throaty groan. 

“Did you?” he asks, nipping the outer edge of your ear between his teeth and then soothing the spot with a kiss. He props himself onto his elbows, his body caging yours without crushing it. 

“Almost.” You don’t mind: he got you off once already. 

“Almost isn’t good enough.” Kodiak slides a hand underneath you, teasing your swollen bundle of nerves until you come hard around his softening cock. When he speaks again, he sounds faintly strangled. “God, you’re so fucking hot.”

You make a contented noise in the back of your throat, too blissed out to make a more coherent response. Kodi rolls you both onto your sides, repositioning you so he can kiss your neck, massage your breasts. You crane your neck to kiss him. 

“Are you still mad at me?” You only ask it now that you’re sure he’s not. 

“Right now I’m extremely pleased with you,” Kodi murmurs between kisses. 

“I mean it,” you tell him, your voice soft. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Oh you’ve more than made up for that.” Kodi tugs at the hem of the shirt you borrowed from him. “We should get washed before your friends wake up.” 

Kodiak pulls back to look at you, his expression soft and unguarded, his eyes creased in the corners with a smile. 

“Already?” There’s a faint grey quality to the light filtering through the canvas: you estimate you have half an hour or more until sunrise and longer until the others wake. 

“Get dressed.” Kodiak brushes a teasing kiss against your lips. “I want to show you something.” 

Kodiak leads you through the silent campsite and towards the river. His hand is warm in yours and you keep his jacket wrapped around you. 

“The water’s going to be freezing.” You press into Kodiak’s side, more because you want to be close to him than because you’re actually cold. The roar of the waterfall blurs the grey pre-dawn air; the air is wet, with  spray or mist you can’t say. You come to an eroded stone pool, deep enough to stand in. The water is clear as glass and you know just from looking at it that it’s going to be ice cold. 

“We couldn’t have washed in the tent?” You clutch your borrowed jacket around yourself. 

“Princess, we both stink of sex. You’re the one who wants to keep this secret.” Kodiak eases the jacket over your shoulders, so it drops onto the rocky river’s edge. “So strip.”

He starts shrugging off his own clothes and you can’t resist sneaking a look at him. You thought you knew his body pretty well by now but it’s different like this, when there’s room to see all of him at once, rather than the two of you crammed close in the darkness of his tent. You let your eyes linger on the hard planes of his muscles. Everything about him seems like he belongs here: he’s scarred, sunbeaten, as though the Wilderness carved him into its own shape. 

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to get my stitches wet?”

“For the first forty eight hours. Stop making excuses.”

Kodiak eases himself into the water: he grimaces, breath escaping in a low hiss before he turns and grins up at you. Now it’s his turn to watch you strip and he makes no effort to hide his enjoyment; you can feel the heat of his gaze warm you, despite the chill morning air. 

“You do that any slower it’s going to qualify as a strip tease,” he grins up at you, flashing teeth. 

You finish undressing and gingerly lower yourself so you’re sitting on the rocky edge of the pool, toes dipping experimentally in the water. The sudden chill is enough to make you yelp and snatch your foot back. 

“How can you stand that?” You raise your voice over the roar of the waterfall. 

“Guess I’m tougher than I look. Now are you coming in or do I have to make you?”

“Not a chance.” You settle for splashing the chill water gingerly over your legs. You’ll have to have a very quick, efficient cat bath. 

“Who says you get a say?” Kodiak catches you around the waist and pulls you in. The noise of the rushing water covers your wordless shout. The cold knocks the breath out of you, making you cling to him reflexively. “C’mere, I got you.”

His hands glide over you, lingering on your breasts, working down your sides to your hips and then your thighs. You twist with embarrassed arousal as he helps you wash, batting away your hands when you try to cover yourself. The current is strong enough that you can feel it try to knock you sideways, the rounded river rocks treacherous under your bare feet. You almost lose your footing and grab Kodiak’s arm to steady yourself. 

“Let me help you, Princess.” Kodiak smirks, leaning over you, your body anchored to his. 

“Please.” You try to sound unaffected but you teeth are chattering a little from the cold. You cling to Kodiak, trying to borrow a little of his warmth. “We both know this is just an excuse to feel me up.”

“Since when do I need an excuse to feel you up?” Kodiak squeezes a generous handful of your ass. 

“Seriously, again?” you look up at him, pleadingly. “I’m sore.”

Kodiak chuckles. “Relax, I had something else in mind.”

Kodiak picks you up bodily around the waist and lifts you onto the rocky ledge at the river’s bank. He spreads your legs, leaning his elbows on your thighs and looking up at you with a grin that makes something hot and tight twist inside your stomach. 

“Make as much noise as you want: no one’s going to hear anything over the waterfall.” Kodiak grips one of your thighs, lifting it over his shoulder. It throws you off balance; you throw your arms out behind you to avoid falling, your back arching, your breasts jutting out. “Stay exactly like that.”

Kodiak dips his head down, kissing a line along your inner thigh. You squirm a little until Kodiak grips your hipbones and holds you still. 

You're so sensitive that every touch is like electricity. You can’t help but let out a pitchy moan as soon as his mouth brushes your core. 

“Don’t worry,” Kodiak draws back a little, teasing. “I’ll go slow. I want to savour this.”

You don’t want him to go slow. Arousal fills you so completely you feel yourself straining at the seams. Kodiak draws things out, bringing you to the edge and keeping you there. The friction of his beard is a stark contrast to how gentle he’s being and you arch toward him, one calf hooked over his shoulder to press him closer, biting down so hard on your lip you’re scared you’ll leave a mark. Kodiak draws back, pinching your thigh hard. 

“Stop holding back. I want to hear you.”

Kodiak spreads your legs wider, swirling his tongue around your clit and then sucking hard enough to draw an involuntary cry out of you. The heat of his mouth is a delicious contrast to the cool morning air. You’re chilled from the water, arousal glowing like a hot coal inside you in a way that makes you feel feverish. Kodiak draws more noises out of you, your moans and gasps blending with the rushing water. You fist your hand into his hair and grind shamelessly against his mouth, desperate for release. Kodi gives it to you, so intense against your overstimulated flesh it’s almost painful. You feel yourself arch, your thighs clamping around his head, his name escaping you as a choked shout. 

You feel yourself turn limp and boneless. Kodiak pushes you onto your back as he kisses your inner thigh. You try to wriggle away when you realise he’s leaving a mark but he holds you still until he’s ready, finishing with a final kiss on your swollen sex. You sit up, still shaky with the afterglow. Kodiak pulls you to him, holding you against his chest as the water swirls around your waist. 

“No more marks,” you tell him, as his head dips to kiss along your collarbone, sucking on the fading lovebite. You push at his ineffectively, too blissed out to make much of an effort. 

“You’re complaining a lot for someone who just came for the third time this morning.” Kodiak’s beard rasps against your skin as he speaks. “I earned this.”

“We could get caught.”

“That’s what makes it fun. Now stop squirming or I’ll drop you.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, pressing closer to him as the heat from earlier wears off. Kodiak makes an approving noise against your skin, his teeth scraping lightly over the sensitive flesh. When he pulls back you catch sight of it, stark and vivid. Then he boosts you up onto the rocks at the river’s edge and climbs up after you. You’re losing heat quickly, shivering worse somehow now you’re out of the water. Kodiak wraps his overshirt around you, dries you almost tenderly. He holds you still after, for a few seconds that feel longer, the pad of his thumb brushing over the marks he made. 

“Happy?” you ask him, before you pull yourself free and hurriedly pull on your clothes. You’re trying to sound cool and detached but your voice shakes a little as you rewind your bandages. 

Kodiak looks up from buttoning his pants and grins. “What do I have to be unhappy about? C’mere, let me warm you up.”

He wraps his jacket around you and you bury yourself into the wellworn sheepskin lining. It smells of him: leather, whatever hair gel he uses, crushed pine needles and something earthy under it. Kodiak sinks down onto a dry stretch of rock, pulling you with him so he can rest a heavy arm over your shoulders, pulling you into his side. 

“Better?”

“Told you I’d freeze.”

Kodidak snorts. “You made it through winter out here. A little cold water won’t kill you.” 

It’s the closest he’s come to complimenting your survival skills. You rest your head against his chest, let him rub warmth into your arm. You both sit quietly for a while, listening to the roar of the falls. 

“Look.” Kodiak raises his arm towards the rushing water. “That’s what I wanted to show you.”

You turn to look. The dawn light has hit the falls, turning the spray into a fractured mass of rainbows. The sight makes your heart catch in your throat. Kodiak doesn’t push you but you can feel him watching you watch the falling water. It occurs to you that he must have planned this when he chose where to camp; even angry at you, he still wanted to share this with you. You’re not sure what to do with that but the thought seems to glow inside your chest, warming you from within. 

“Are we okay?” You don’t know where the words come from; you just hate to think of him still being mad at you. 

Kodiak presses a kiss into your hair. “Yeah. We’re okay. I just can’t figure you out sometimes.”

You lean closer into him, watching the glistening spray rising off the falls. 

“Nothing ever happened between me and Travis. Ever. I swear.”

“It would be okay if it had.” Kodiak says unprompted. “You’re nineteen. You’ve been stuck out here a long time. You could tell me.”

You turn to him. You’re still tucked under his shoulder, so you have to tilt your head up to look him in the eye.

“This feels like a trap.”

Kodiak makes a face, his brows furrowing. “I mean, I wouldn’t be happy about it. But you’re allowed a past.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you glance back towards the falling water. The effect is less spectacular now dawn has broken but you still see a shimmer of colour here and there. 

“I care about you.” Kodiak’s breath stirs your hair. 

You turn to face him, almost startled. You didn’t realise until now, how much you’ve been waiting to hear it. You think it’s harder to hear it now, when you’re about to lose him, than never to hear it at all.  

“You do?”

Kodiak studies you for a long moment. Then he smiles but it’s not the easy smile you’re used to from him: this is practiced, guarded. 

“You know, you could always say it back.”

“No, I do, of course I do.” You pull back without meaning to. “I just didn’t think you would.”

Kodiak laughs, not because it’s funny. “What’s it going to take to convince you? Skywriting?”

“No, it’s just…you shouldn’t.” You look away because it’s easier than facing him while you say it. “You wouldn’t, if you knew what I’d done.”

Your voice sticks hot and choking in your throat. 

Kodiak squeezes your shoulder tentatively, as though he expects you to pull away. 

“Look, I know I give your friends a hard time about it. You did what you had to.”

“You don’t know what I did though.” Your voice comes out small, choked. You feel tears rising and try to fight them back. Kodiak says you’re allowed a past without knowing what yours entails. He saw what remained of Ben but he has no idea what led up to it. He doesn’t know that you killed a child. He doesn’t know that Travis is the only one of you who spoke up for Natalie. He doesn’t know the thing you won’t even admit to yourself: that once the hunt took you over you really wanted to kill her. Not because of anything she’d done. But because you were so sick of starving and feeling powerless and here finally was something you could control. You’re horrified at yourself. The thought of seeing that same horror reflected back at you in Kodiak’s face makes panic claw at your insides. 

“You could tell me.” Kodiak’s voice is so gentle it almost doesn’t sound like him. 

You shake your head. “I can’t. You’ll hate me.”

“I won’t–”

“You should hate me.” Something tears inside your chest as you say it and then you don’t trust your voice. Tears well hot and prickling in the corners of your eyes, falling as your shoulders shake. 

“Yeah well.” Kodiak wraps his arm tighter around you, resting his chin against the crown of your head. You can feel a new tension in him: worried and confused. He presses a gentle kiss into your hair, lets you cry. “I should do a lot of things I don’t.”

[Masterlist]

A/N: What's that? Reader's inability to believe Kodi likes her is becoming PLOT RELEVANT? Please don't be mad at me: she will get a chance to say it back very soon. Thanks so much to everyone for all your encouragement: it really does help so much in getting these out. If you enjoyed, please consider reblogging: it really helps creators out, so we can keep making cool stuff. Replies and likes are also much appreciated: I love talking to you all.