els peixos a l'aigua

catastrophically based stephen once again

Someone get this bitch the motherfucker that made the font the mfa uses

Mount Mansfield, Vermont, 1859, Sanford Robinson Gifford

Koloman Moser - Overview of the Payerbach (1912-1913)

DUDE

Thinking about this post about how it's actually really important that Ilya moves to a terrible team to be with Shane and makes himself horrifically depressed about it but it's because he thinks that in order to be with Shane he has to keep giving things up because Shane is perfect and could have anyone so why would he want to be with Ilya unless Ilya's willing to sacrifice everything for him, and I think that (particularly with the 90s AU where Boston becomes Ilya's home in a way that it doesn't in canon, because he can't go back home for six years) it's actually really interesting to think about a potential character arc for Ilya and Shane which is centered around the fact that Ilya is willing to give up his team (which is his family, which he loves and feels at home with, which loves him back) just to have Shane, while Shane isn't willing to give up his team (which he's never felt quite at home with, which he's never opened up to, which views him as the mask of a person he puts on), and in which the resolution isn't for them both to move to Ottawa, it's for Ilya to move back to Boston (not entirely clear what Shane's move would be here, possibly moving to a different team that's not Ottawa but that isn't Montreal either, and finally opening up a bit). Like, Ilya in TLG is convinced that he can't have things for himself if he wants to be with Shane, so I think him finally breaking down and telling Shane this and also getting the move back to Boston because he realizes he doesn't have to sacrifice things would be really interesting, and I think it would be even more interesting with Shane realizing that Ilya wants to go back not just because he wants to play competitive hockey but because he feels like he loves that team and belongs there, a feeling which Shane had not quite realized was something you could feel for a hockey team. And then in turn there's something about Shane never considering giving up Montreal because they're good at hockey, and that's all that matters, and he can't admit that he's never felt quite at home there or on any team he's played for in the way that Ilya has because (1) he doesn't fully consciously realize this until Ilya voices it and (2) if he admits this then he'll start wanting something he can't have (that level of camaraderie) and he'll lose the veneer of happiness that he thinks he has with Montreal. So I think both of them try to keep up this pretense because they fundamentally misunderstand what the other person wants, but once they're forced to confront it I think it would make them grow in more interesting ways than the actual ending of TLG (which is, critically, a romance novel, and thus probably would not end up going this route regardless, but genre conventions aside). Also part of this is me really liking the idea that Ilya gets a messy transfer for two years to Ottawa and goes back to Boston and everyone's like WTF was that about and none of them know that it was for his personal, immensely stupid uhauling moment, but that's just a fun little side dish that comes with this whole deal <3

I think that’s a much nicer outcome for ilya but I actually think that he HAD to leave a team he loved and move to a bad team where he was miserable and became clinically depressed/passively suicidal. I think it’s important to his character arc lol. like to be fair RR doesn’t do much with these elements (and introduces a bunch of random other elements like the plane crash and the stupid Cameo outing and the Evil Commissioner that water it down even further) but she had the bones of something interesting there! it’s fascinating to me that ilya gets ONE little taste of emotional intimacy from a guy who seems securely attached and has a nice family and he’s like ok I’m going to blow up my entire life for you. I’m going to give up everything for you while not asking you to sacrifice a single thing. I’m going to hinge 10000% of my happiness and sanity and general well-being on this working out. I thought I was going to lose you and then I didn’t lose you and so to express my gratitude I will give you everything I have now and in the future and will never ever ever ever ask you for anything. and I hope that in some small way this will make up it. for the fact that it’s me. and shane’s like ok yay :) not because he’s a bad person but because he’s missing literally all of the subtext here and because ilya has never truly opened up to shane or let shane see just how deep that sense of his own inner rottenness/brokenness goes. shane largely seems to trust ilya to advocate for his own needs (because that’s what generally emotionally healthy people do) without realizing that ilya is literally never ever going to do that. he just doesn’t have the tools.

ID: Orange and white tabby laying on his side, he is smiling and has his paws folded up