Essence of a Fire Addict

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

Oh, dear. I can't reblog that fast enough.

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

And you are older than them

Four crows trying to steal a fish from an eagle (I didn't see how this ended because Team Crow managed to force the eagle down below the canopy and out of sight. But let's be real. Once the crows have done that to you, the crows have won. And I hope they enjoyed their breakfast)

SINGLE crow trying to steal an unseen treasure from an eagle (this one looked like a toss-up?)

saw a red-winged blackbird solo a bald eagle today. smart money is always on the guy with epaulets

Didn’t anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.

We love the character development

Answering "I don't know" is a level of self awareness a lot of people never attain

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

happy pride to them

this is probably my favourite comic of all time jsyk

can someone explain this to me?

ooh i love the explanation

Rebloging for that in depth and not even a little snarky explanation. 10/10

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.