We're All Mad Here

I absolutely fucking hate this. Gold star, no notes.

Super fucked up that I can’t be a master-level expert in knitting AND woodworking AND silversmithing AND embroidery AND soap making AND spinning AND -

“Who would ever want to be immortal? Can you imagine the loneliness, knowing that there’s no one else like you, cursed to outlive -” shut up!! Some of us have shit to do and aren’t cowards!!

The logical conclusion that Doofenshmirtz wrote the code for tumblr’s search non-function is delightful

[Image ID: Tweet from pea poopingirl @/PoopingIRL on 8/14/23 - i think the idea of a shady dwarven salesman selling "cheap" stuff to humans and laughing to himself like "heh it will only last one generation, those stupid idiots, how will they even pass it down to their kids" forgetting that one dwarf generation is like 4 human ones is funny. There's a black bar at the bottom with an iFunny watermark in the corner. End ID.]

Elf ea-nasir selling mithril armor that will last no more than 1,000 years getting death threats from his fellow elves but doing numbers w/humans

"If the Hargreeves had phones every season would end in two episodes!" Babe if there were cell phones in the Umbrella Academy it would be so much worse. Not a single person in that house is capable of conveying information in a coherent manner. Diego has them all blocked. Viktor only listens to his voicemail in bulk once a month. Five developed his own shorthand during the apocalypse that he truly thinks is coherent to other human beings (it is not). Luther, by nature of who he is, absolutely Does Not Text for any reason and keeps calling the others. Klaus is carrying at least four conversations in the same thread at any given point in time. Even if they all managed to remember that they owned phones (unlikely) and then proceeded to convey relevant information in a timely fashion (even less likely), not a single one of them would figure it out. Allison could probably muster the braincells necessary but would not under any circumstances manage to stay on task long enough to do anything about it. Phones would absolutely not help with anything at all.

I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND LIKE 2 HOURS LATER THE WALLET I HAD LOST 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THAT HAD MY DEBIT CARD AND LIKE 80 DOLLARS IN CASH WAS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS I CANT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS JACKIE CHAN WHO SENT IT GOD BLESS YOU JACKIE CHAN

Last time I did this it was payday so duh. Let’s see what you’ve got this time, Chan.

Er, actually, about a minute after I hit reblog I got some very important (and positive) money-related news out of the blue. The system works, guys.

THIS WORKS!!

Doesn’t hurt to try 💕

can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2014

can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2024

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

Mad Scientist and the Head of HR ass dynamic