So I was invited to a party by a friend of mine hosted by @pureromance. I was looking forward to it since I very rarely am able to get out of the house due to severe social anxiety, and that I have never had the chance to hang out with other girls in person due to being raised as male. As such, I was really looking forward to the opportunity to do so for the first time, and being accepted as female for an all girls party really meant a lot to me.
Turns out that according to @pureromance’s rules, their “no guys allowed” policy extends to transwomen as well, so they were not having it. Upon entering, I was there for a short while before their representative, Cherie Weiss, asked me if I was a man or a woman. I figure I should note that the only basis she had for this was because of my appearance, so chances are they also have a “no ugly people allowed” policy as well. So i naturally said i was a woman, so she, I kid you not, asked to see my ID. I naturally didn’t have my ID with me because it’s a fucking birthday party that I was invited to, and it takes place in someone’s house. So because of that, she said she needed to ask me to leave because @pureromance operates on a “no trannies allowed” policy. So I decided to get up and leave, and I naturally gave Cherie the middle finger as I left, to which she responded that she doesn’t blame me but her business is more important than basic human decency.
So i ended up waiting outside the house in 10 degrees Fahrenheit weather because i didn’t have a ride back. I heard people yelling inside, and most of it had to do with between my friend Emily and her mother. Emily did not expect me being trans to be a problem, rightfully so. However, her mother was angry with her for not asking Cherrie beforehand and ending up with me humiliated and treated as inhuman for being trans.
SO yeah, in addition to me being treated like Garbage, Emily likely felt horrible about what happened since she told me before that if anyone gave me trouble, she’d ask them to leave, but she didn’t expect the people responsible for organizing the event would be responsible for doing so. ANd she was also scolded by her mother, who was kind enough to drive me home. Both Emily and her mother I should also mention were pissed by the way, and I highly doubt that they were the only ones that thought so. Once I got home, I simply decided to tell my dad that it didn’t work out because I did not want to go through the effort of talking about what just happened.
I honestly have to ask this, what would the risk have been to let me attend? Does @pureromance operate on the Fox News belief that all transwomen are rapists who are trying to “invade women’s safe spaces?” Would Cherie’s superiors have somehow discovered that I was born male if she did let me in? Exactly what was the risk, especially when the event was at someone else’s house?
As far as I’m concerned, Cherie handled this in a very irresponsible manner. However, that is not what this post is about. It is because of @pureromance’s bigoted policy that this happened, where a girl’s 21st birthday party was potentially ruined. Granted I’m sure the rest will get over it, but I’m pretty sure the way I was treated left an impression on them, and it wasn’t a pleasant one.
It also turns out that @pureromance is a pretty small business. Large corporations may be able to get away with this kind of crap, but smaller ones should realize that there is a chance that if they treat people like shit, it can come back to bite them in the ass. I myself and taking the opportunity to post this one each of my social media accounts, including my twitter account which has close to a thousand followers. And i’ll also be sure to have it as my pinned tweet, so it’s the first thing everyone will see it. I also plan to forward it to many friends of mine whom are also trans, and I’m sure some of them will pass it on as well.
Now I know that one person with a relatively small following won’t run #pureromance out of business, but i’m damn sure going to try and do what I can to put a dent in their business. And let me make this clear, I don’t want to blame Cherie herself for this even though she didn’t act responsibly. If the reaction her superiors have is to fire her, then that would be completely missing the point and would be even more disgusting behavior on their part.
The reason she took her actions was because she was obeying THEIR RULES and did not want to risk getting into any trouble. No, the real issue here is the rules that the company itself operates on. I get that the idea is to be a women only type of thing, but here is the thing; no man would have any real motive to dress in women’s clothing and identify as female. Transwomen are not men, and should not be treated as such. Pardon the cliche, but it is, in fact, 2016. We just got gay marriage legalized last year and trans rights are next. Continuing these discriminatory practices are not going to do you any good, and will only sour your reputation further, and rightfully so.
As such, unless @pureromance cleans up it’s act, DO NOT use their services unless you support blatant bigotry and transphobia. And if this inspires any transphobes to use their service out of spite, well then congratulations at the people you have associated your service with.
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