i'm normal i swear

man i’m really sad that they seem to be ignoring gabrielle’s transmasculinity in the tv adaptation, it’s such an important part of their character. like, ik that this is a bad time to have a transgender incestuous pedophile in a main role on tv, but their transgenderism is literally the motive for- oh wait nevermind i get it

my realest fear with s3 isn’t about the portrayal of the trans stuff or the incest stuff but actually i really fear that nobody is gonna believe how much of a disney princess lestat is. non-book-readers have only ever seen him be a theatre kid, hot, abusive, and have severe bpd they have no idea lestat is actually cinderella, ariel, bluebeard’s bride, and rapunzel at the same time. like just because he’s gonna be doing MOUNTAINS of cocaine next season doesn’t mean we get to forget the fact that he once grabbed a rat off of the floor of a crowded shop so he could look at its toepads and appreciate its life (louis would never he'd eat it)

the thing about tvl's music is that instead of being a normal musical they've cracked the code on how to write a song in the exact way that lestat de lioncourt himself would write it, which sadly comes with lestat's personality. this is why we hear incredible and gutwrenching lyrics like "i know you're stubborn but you have to ask for it, i'm a dog and you're my brave little wolf killer" and "did the flavour of my failures prove good enough to gild your gaping wound" but we also have to suffer lyrics like "give me your piss, ha" and nobody can really criticize it because that’s exactly what lestat would write

lesmand is by far the funniest relationship in tvc because you really would think that it’d be a good ship considering how similar they are but instead lestat meets his narrative mirror and immediately goes “wow okay i’m not doing that. that relationship seems like it’d be really toxic. i'm going to protect my peace, and not begin a romantic relationship with this person. there are other vampire fish in the sea like The Pedophile or The Other Pedophile or The Other Other-“ and armand spends the next century with a portrait of lestat on his bedroom wall and lies to a reporter about them dating

if i had a nickel for every time i got super into a white european vampire who moves to early 1900s southern america in search of some greater love and eventually finds a young catholic-guilt-riddled black man who he becomes fixated upon and pursues relentlessly, posing vampirism as love and acceptance and an escape from racism, because he genuinely believes this and is disgusted by the institutional racism he witnesses but fails to recognize that his displays of vampiric power ultimately weaponize racism regardless of his personal intent, and then also that guy he was obsessed with kills him with the help of a family member i’d have two nickels. if lestat and remmick met do you think they’d fuck or try to kill eachother?

the issue i have with loustat modern aus is that really, rockstar is the only job lestat could hold down. like louis could easily be a lawyer or a doctor or anything else if he tried, and he'd be damn good at it, whereas lestat is definitely smart enough for these career paths in theory but if he tried going through law school he’d break down crying during so many exams they’d expel him on principle. and don't even IMAGINE what mr i-heard-your-hearts-dancing would be like in court

loustat au where louis was born a girl but lives as a man "for business reasons" and lestat was born a girl but was raised as a man so his brothers wouldn't kill him and the courtship era isn't just about vampirism or gay sex, it's also lestat trying to subtly say that louis isn't the only trans man in louisiana and louis thinks its another french thing

as much as i do actually really like the DID armand headcanon and honestly i think it’s a really interesting analysis of how he functions/acts, i can never fully buy into it bc like. amnesia. imagine your bf just finished his little interview thing and you’re just excited to be done with this lestatfest and then the senior citizen you’ve been eyefucking for weeks suddenly accuses you of a murder you have no recollection of doing and then pulls out irrefutable proof that apparently The Gremlin did that shit