Puck Yeah, Mighty Ducks!

It has come to my attention that Mighty Ducks: The animated series is 30 years old this year

I don’t think TMNT makes me feel old because the comic came out when I was 2 so it has just always been part of my life

But MD:TAS… oof. It had a hold on me from 1996-200? Something. It and the fandom got me through so much they don’t even realize. I will always be grateful to the best worst B-Rated Cartoon community ever!

But ALSO! The best thing about writing injuries is that there is so much variation.

I spent a few years as an EMT, and I saw people walk away from vehicle rollovers with nary a scratch... and also, I saw people break their knees because they sat down. I've seen a guy get lifelong impairments out of falling off something twelve feet high, but I know someone who survived being stabbed over a dozen times with no lasting (physical) injuries. There's range.

In nearly any given situation*, a realistic level of injury is anywhere from "Dies within five minutes" to "Dies 73 years later surrounded by grandchildren and great-grandchildren, having zero long-lasting repercussions from that incident."

*Not every situation, mind you; papercuts are generally exempt

If you don't mind a ramble (because I haven't done a fun character injury ramble in a while so I shall use this as an excuse)...

The key to writing realistic injuries is to start with what you want to happen. It's your character and your scenario, so start with what you want to happen for Plot Reasons.

Example:

You know your character gets in a car crash with a wall, and you want them laid up for a week, but able to move around with minimal pain soon after. Cool. Now that you have your desired outcome, you can run through the scenario. You won't want your character ejected or to have a major head impact with the windshield, so they were wearing their seatbelt. You want them to still be able to walk, so the dashboard probably didn't crumple in on them. That means they were either in a car with good safety ratings, or they weren't going super fast, or a combination thereof. But you do want them a little bit injured, enough so they don't want to go on that hiking trip for another week, so make sure they were going fast enough to get some good ol' whiplash.

Another example:

You want your character to make a dramatic exit out the window, and you want them to be limping a little for dramatic effect as they head off into the forest surrounding the castle. Nice, we love a good dramatic window exit. But you want to make sure the character won't be out of commission for the battle in a fortnight's time. This could totally be a first-floor window, or even a second-floor one. But what if it really needs to be the fourth floor, for pre-existing scenario reasons? Well, maybe there's a balcony halfway down. Or maybe there's a nice slanted roof underneath that broke their fall. Or maybe the castle is built into a cliff so the windows on that side of the castle are only ten feet up. Or maybe they clung onto ivy outside, which ripped out of the wall a bit but was enough to slow them down. There's all sorts of ways you can play this off!

Rather than trying to make a scenario and then fitting the injury into it, come up with the injury (or at least, level of injury) and plan out the details of your scenario around it.

The only caution is to make sure to build scenarios realistically—like, I could totally see a character being able to keep going after being stabbed because it was a shallow wound. But if they get a shallow stab wound... and they only get ✨grazed✨ by a bullet... and they happen to survive a terrible car accident because they were in the best possible seat... AND they were pushed out of an airplane but their BFF managed to skydive right out after them and caught them... that's getting to be a little much. XD Any of those is realistic except maybe the last; IDK, I know injuries, not skydiving, but too many near-misses in a single story starts to feel like plot armor.

Because we are predators, and Geese are prey animals with hollow bones, no teeth, and no claws. What they do have are wings to make them look bigger and a fuck off attitude. That attitude works on most people apparently.

YOU UNDERSTAND

ohhhh especially that leader one. I love any sort of leader subversion. I hope you don't mind if I ramble a bit--

I love leaders who are normally cool-headed and stoic breaking down in panic when the situation feels hopeless. Leaders who have a solution to every problem, who are always planning ahead, who the team relies on like a limb, falling apart. The voice crack when they're unsure of an order. The shaking hands when they try to wrestle everything back under control. The team devolves into arguing, and Leader shouts to get their attention, with red eyes, short breaths, terror heavy on their shoulders. "I don't know what to do."

Gentle leaders getting angry is delicious to me, too. Normally soft and sweet, well-rounded and reliable, someone the team can't ever imagine hurting a fly, turning rabid in defense of their family. Snarling, tearing into someone, every word sharp and cruel and demeaning. If it gets physical, the team finally sees what the callouses on their leader's hands are for--and it leaves them unsure whether to feel safer, or... afraid. I love it when they lose the mask.

But: on the other side, Leaders who are normally snappy and rude, who are under huge amounts of pressure, who are maybe new to the position and don't handle it well, showing a soft side when their team needs it most. Sitting beside a feverish member, ready to wake them when the nightmares creep out of hiding. Holding an injured teammate's hand tight while Medic stitches them up, whispering words of encouragement. When the whole team thinks Leader hates them, but the moment any of them are in danger, Leader loses their whole shit, utterly desperate to get them back. When they're safe, Leader can't stop touching them, holding their face, drying their tears, refusing to let go. Frantically whispering apologies for not being good enough to protect them. Whumpees who thought they wouldn't be missed, plus a struggling leader who loves them so much it hurts, my beloved.