idk

the aircraft emergency frequency (known as GUARD in the usa) is SUPPOSED to be used for emergencies. the frequency is 121.5 mhz. it is for all international air distress and emergencies and stuff (theres a different one for military)

however. for some goddamn reason. for at least the past ten years (maybe more) there has been meowing. random pilots going “meowww!” on the emergency frequency. this is often followed by at least 8 different people yelling “GUARRRRD” “YOUR ON GUARD” “STOP FUCKING MEOWING” and at least 3 others meowing also.

i have a radio and often tune into this frequency if i want to hear local airplane pilots/control tower operators act like absolute fools.

here’s some operators using GUARD to try to contact a flight that went missing (they found them) and just the absolute nonsense, the one guy spamming caribbean music, the voice changer, and the meowing and guard police are so fucking funny. GUARD is always doing shit like this. its great. (note that he isnt on the frequency until 1:30, so the other shit is just normal coworker conversations. “who the fuck eats honeydew” is just two coworkers not abusing resources).

• someone barking, which was nice variety and very much appreciated to see more canine representation in my field

• airline captains making full cabin announcements, not realizing they were transmitting, followed by several other pilots asking questions as if they were in the cabin

• airline captain making about half a cabin announcement before stopping cold, pausing for about 3 seconds, and mumbling "...I am so fucking sorry," then presumably making the announcement again to his actual cabin

• two pilots for different airlines speaking Italian to each other (one of these was actually my captain, the other guy was a friend from his last job)

YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO

*greetings this is your captain speaking*

121.5

*woof woof*

the GUUUUUAAAARRRD

*plane crash sound*

WHERE WE PLAY NOTHING BUT MEOWS, MEOWS, AND MORE MEOWS

*woop woop pull up pull up*

*woop woop terrain terrain*

THIS AIN'T YOUR OPERATORS STATION

YOU'RE LISTENING TO

*sounds of dragons roaring and fighting*

102.7

*falcon screech*

REAL MOUNTAIN ROCK FM

*electric guitar shred*

WHERE WE PLAY THE MUSIC THAT ONLY REAL DRAGONS CAN HANDLE

*spine being torn out of a dragon*

*dragon roaring in pain*

*cheering and applauding and chanting for death*

THIS AIN'T ANY SEA DRAGON'S STATION

YE'RE NOW LISTENING TA

*hammer striking metal*

102.3

*swords being drawn*

REAL DWARF FM

*gjallarhorn being blown*

WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN' BUT METAL, ROCK, AND STONE!

*liquid metal boiling*

*axes beating shields*

THIS AIN'T YER ELF-MAIDEN'S STATION

Real Mental Illness FM

Where we play nothing but

Wait

Fuck

Where was i again? Oh yes radio

This is not your neurotypical white friend’s station.

THOU ART LISTENING TO

*fireball explosion*

102.3

*bubbling cauldron*

REAL WIZARDS FM

*shimmering mana crystal*

WHERE WE PLAYETH NOTHING BUT CHANTS, CHANTS, AND MORE CHANTS

*wololo*

THIS ART NOT THINE ELDER MATRIARCH'S STATION

YOU'RE LISTENING TO

*radioactive by imagine dragons continues playing*

RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONS FM

*radioactive by imagine dragons continues playing*

WHERE WE PLAY RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONS, RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONS, AND MORE RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONS

*radioactive by imagine dragons continues playing*

THIS ISN'T SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO IMAGINE DRAGONS' STATION

*jet engines powering up*

💥DECEPTICON RADIO💥

*💢CH-CH-CH-CLICK-WHIRR-CLANK-KSHH💢*

ITS TIME TO TRANSFORM🔥& RISE UP!!✈

*screams & explosions noises*

This aint your standard autoboobs station😈

YOU'RE LISTENING TO

[stove clicking sound]

103.4

[water bubbling]

SOUP RADIO

[sLUUURRRRRP]

WHERE WE PLAY NOTHING BUT SOUP, SOUP, AND MORE SOUP

*WARDRUMS*

YOU LISTENING TO

*FIERCE WARCRY*

107.6

*BONES BREAKING*

ORC BARBARIANS FM

*HAMMER SMASH*

WHERE ORCS PLAY NOTHING BUT WAR CRIES WAR CRIES AND MORE WAR CRIES

*ENEMIES SCREAMS*

THIS NOT PUNY HUMAN RADIO

YOU'RE LISTENING TO

*Geiger counter clicks*

101.3

*Yes Man dialogue*

RADIO NEW VEGAS

*Sound of a roulette table*

WHERE WE PLAY NOTHING BUT CLASSY VEGAS CLASSICS, THE NEWS, AND OF COURSE ME, MR. NEW VEGAS!

*Mini-nuke explosion*

*Feral ghoul yell*

THIS ISN'T YOUR OLD MOJAVE MUSIC RADIO...

*"War, war never changes"*

YOU'RE LISTENING TO

*children cheering*

104.6

*honk honk*

CLOWN AND JESTER FM

*jingling of bells*

WHERE WE PLAY NOTHING BUT GOOFS, GAFFS, AND JOKES

*sounds of someone doing a backflip*

THIS ISNT YOUR OLD TIMEY STATION

You are listening to

*Character Selection*

102.3

Real Fortress FM

*Heavy TeamFortress 2*

Where we play nothin' but the heaviest, sneakiest, Team Fortress Classics

*OOOOHOHAHA HOHAAAHAHAHOHO*

TEAM FORTRESS 2

This isn't your commies station!

(Soldier, that's not the line. Dammit soldier we almost got it.)