If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.
My friend is embarrassed and thinks she’s the only one and I said id prove her wrong.
almost home
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH


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@psychopathcommonroom
If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.
My friend is embarrassed and thinks she’s the only one and I said id prove her wrong.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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pride month!!!
Is that a miette?
Pride for you! Pride for a thousand years!!
you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!
Horrible job everyone
Imagine you meet an alien that's entirely blood and fat. Like all the white blood cells and red blood cells and lipids kept in your body are just out there. That's their entire body, a blob of blood jelly. Even their brain is completely fluid. They constantly forget things and don't seem to notice the connection
They see electricity, the same electricity of your brain. If something is not charged they can't see anything at all, and a room of non-conductive objects would be a complete sensory deprecation chamber. They can see a little bit, but they are nearly blind and only use it to notice sudden changes. If you flash a light at them they scream. Instead they just bring a device that generates a charge everywhere they go. They claim their whole planet is charged, but you have doubts
This apparently allows them to see secrets of the universe. They knew about the big bang through out their entire history, because they can apparently just see the beginning of the universe. They find it beautiful, but not all that interesting. You are jealous
Despite being in space, they have not yet discovered steel or had the industrial revolution. It's basically still alchemists and philosophers, but the alchemy and philosophy works and got them to space. You are no longer jealous
They rely on the temperature being way below 40 degrees Fahrenheit so all the fat stays solid and frozen, and die if it's warm. They consider you burning
They get all their energy from air, like eating, to the point they cannot hold their breath at all. They get other things from food, but refuse to prepare it aside from digestion. They just plop it in basically untouched
They age in dog years, dying a few months after turning 9, and only reach adulthood at age 4. That's an absurd amount of time to spend as a child. The one you met is apparently 5 and considers himself a mature adult. The tantrums say otherwise. Yes, he also has arcane knowledge naturally. You are more surprised they live this long considering everything else about them
They have 4 genders and assigned you one, maybe randomly. Kind of rude, apparently very complex, but they have no idea how to explain it. You aren't asking
You are an Eridian and have just met a human. You must now convince your mate to let you keep them.
i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means
*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play
okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

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People who are younger than you but taller
People who are younger than you but better than you at something
People who are younger than you
People
Being turned into a llama
A LLAMA?! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!
yeah… weird
World Heritage Post
in loving memory of my favorite shirt
turmeric kun update
Hmm hmm hmm. oxiclean loves her for who she is but turmeric cannot help but change her
I love how the reblogs are either:
Arguing about weather oxyclean or turmeric is a better pairing for white shirt..
Pointing out that UV light gets rid of the stain...
Or suggesting the shirt gets dyed fully orange with more turmeric.
Never change, Tumblr.
Or suggesting the
shirt gets dyed fully orange
with more turmeric.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
mold pisses me off so much
oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food
I ran into this post years ago and to be honest, it has completely reoriented the way I engage with food.
Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.
But now I’m just like.
Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.
Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?
Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.
That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.
Life-changing.
food doesn’t actually “go bad”, it just gets eaten by something else first
food doesn’t actually
“go bad”, it just gets eaten
by something else first
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
um actually there's nothing wrong with letting cats be outdoor pets. your cat is depressed locked inside forever. it's animal abuse. let it outside. more cats should be let outside more often. especially overnight.
quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.
Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point
we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

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I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.
But now the company holiday party is upon us.
And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.
I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.
I like that people have two reactions to this post.
Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”
Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU
And so it begins
Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.
Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”
I now see my mistake
Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.
My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating
Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂
By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now
This is the feedback I’ve been looking for
world heritage post
1/22/2022
So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”
To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”
I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.
Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.
But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’
So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-
My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”
And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack
Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left
Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”
And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah
Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”
And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me
@hellsite-hall-of-fame this is a legendary post
10/11/2020
hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over
Randy its been five minutes flip your sticks
snnnnzzzzz
slimanton
hei folkens eg steikjer nokre arme riddar-pinnar i omnen. Eg tar meg ein kjapp lur vekk meg opp om 5 minutt så eg kan venda på dei
guddramm-deaktivert20180109
Randy det har gått 5 minutt vend på pinnane dine
slimanton
snnnnrrrrr
guddramm-deaktivert20180109
PINNANE DINE RANDY
Randy det har gått
5 minutt vend på pinnane
dineslimanton
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I fucking love this video
you do not need to ai generate crow I can give you crow for free
I can literally give you crow for free
Not as nice as yours imo but I too can give crow for free! :D
Not as nice as yours
imo but I too can
give crow for free! :D
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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> read library book
> it's good
Thank you library
> read library book
> it's bad
Thank you library for saving me from buying it :)
official library post
> read library book
> it's good
> thank library
> want to re-read book
> enjoy re-read
> consider buying the book if you continue to want to re-read
> consider buying
the book if you continue
to want to re-read
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible
Pronouns
An accent
Bias
Im going to shoot you people with a fucking gun
Everyone has an accent it came free with your language 🙄
Congrats to every reply like this for failing to understand the fundamental definition of an accent. Of course you think you sound normal! It's the way you speak!
Gonna sign language at you in a very southern accent
Sign languages also comes with accents, you can easily watch people sign and tell the difference
You get different sign language accents, you get regional accents, and you even get "second language speaker accent"