new chapter!!!!! pls give attention!!!
One Nice Bug Per Day
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@aro-aizawa
new chapter!!!!! pls give attention!!!

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i don't care if it's nazis, mormons, or a bunch of misguided autistic people. if anyone ever tries to tell you your soul is from another planet and you're actually part of the class of impressive people that secretly did everything cool in the world but is now extinct and lives on through your broken genome, you RUN. YOU WILL RUN AWAY. YOU WILL SPRINT FULL SPEED AWAY FROM THAT.
grabs you by the shoulders listen. listen to my words. i understand the urge to make fanfiction about yourself and to find a reality in which you're super awesome and great and everyone who hates you is wrong and dumb. i get it. you're better than that. you can love yourself without putting other people down, dehumanizing and generalizing, and retaliating against your oppressors.
there's no NPCs. there's no aliens coming to save us. we're not the next step in human evolution. our hyperconnected nervous systems give us terrible sensory overwhelm more often than they make us geniuses. neurotypical people are sentient, conscious, aware people who are capable of understanding you. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different.
✨The song we couldn't write✨
Man, your parents named you that? They must be pretty stupid. No wonder you hate humanity.
You can't fuck up your lines while I'm killing myself, it ruins the dramatic tension.
I'm still a touch sick and am taking comfort in writing things where I don't have to draw backgrounds. Does anyone else also habitually draw characters as left handed? It just works so much better for left -> right reading order.
Astronauts are so funny man. Here's just a couple of things I've found hilarious from this past week of space stuff:
It's probably already been spread around here enough already, but in case anyone's missed it; 7 hours after launch, commander Reid Wiseman, dealing with tech issues, uttered the generational quote "I have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one of those are working."
After fixing the issues that were afflicting the onboard toilet, mission specialist Christina Koch (who has quickly become my favourite of the four) laughingly said “I’m the space plumber, I’m proud to call myself the space plumber.”
On Easter Sunday, the Artemis II crew hosted a makeshift egg hunt, by hiding packets of dehydrated scrambled eggs around their Orion capsule.
The way the crew always makes sure to make it very clear they're in space when doing interviews. From stuff like Wiseman just hanging out floating sideways on screen or Koch letting her hair loose so it can freely span out flowing around her.
While in transit, the crew decided to record a parody of those bad 80s sitcom intros where everyone turns and smiles at the camera.
When the crew reached the furthest point from Earth in the mission, they jokingly clambored over each other in an effort to get to the far side of the capsule, so that they could individually claim to be the furthest person from earth.
At the same time, on the ISS which was at the time on the other side of earth, the 7 astronauts onboard had a light-hearted race to the far side of the station, making jokes about being the furthest humans from Artemis.
On the way back to earth, NASA actually managed to establish an audio call between the crews of the ISS and Artemis II (where they shared the above info), and Koch called one member of the ISS crew, Jessica Meir, her "astro-sister" as the two of them previously spacewalker together in 2019. Meir then responded I'm so happy that we are back in space together, even if we are a few miles apart" (a few here being 230,000).
While Jeremy Hansen was doing an interview, Wiseman and Koch were just in the background swatting the mission mascot (a little moon plush toy named Rise) back and forth between each other.

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when a cartoon character has a little nutsack or dick visible at all times it might raise some eyebrows but is ultimately seen as funny & acceptable. on the other hand you couldn't make Crazy Frog with a cunt. one of society's great inequalities
There’s a little Irish coochie gargoyle I think!! I can’t remember her name, but she’s silly and is sometimes found over church doorways
Sheela na Gig! She's a Christian symbol to help ward off the devil. According to old folklore, if the devil comes around, he will be warded away if a woman flashes her coochie at him, on account of the coochie being a holy and cleansing sort of thing. It's the gateway to life after all. Proof that some societies recognised the power of cunt
Nigerian artist and actor Bolaji Badejo, who played the titular Alien in Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic
having songs that you have listened to for a long time and still listen to is crazy ... like ohhh hey this song i love this song *flashes back to middle school* ohh what the fuck
listening to mother mother like fuuuck yes i love mother mother. i was 12 years old once.
No, seriously, do NOT.
Feeling dirty and grimy for extended periods of time is extremely draining on the mental well-being of humans. Psychological studies prove it is detrimental to our self-esteem and contentment. And no wonder; we are animals--homo sapiens, a kind of ape--that instinctively places high importance on personal grooming. Like monkeys and cats and birds in a zoo, one of the best ways to make us feel sad ... is to make us feel gross to ourselves.
So here's an easy saying from my therapist/zookeeper:
"If you feel like you hate the world, eat something.
If you feel like the world hates you, get some sleep.
If you feel like you hate yourself, take a shower.
You will probably feel much better."
Do all three at once to become the perfect life form
Whoa! Is this where @redgoldsparks ‘ comic comes from?
Yes this is the source of the text!
11 year old border collie: gets a special shot for his chronic back pain this morning
2pm: "where's the dog he can't possibly have jumped over the fence"
3pm: "hi i live in [another village]! I got your dog here, if you can come fetch him?"
"well at least that new medication is working 💀"
OH MY GOD

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if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.
(via @yellowocaballero)
ur clothes size doesnt say anything. like it doesnt say anything abt u as a person but it also especially doesnt say anything about what size your clothes are
One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey
man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life
wbat the hell you weren't even exaggerating

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i'm rereading the murderbot diaries and murderbot's utter conviction that it and gurathin are bitter enemies is still so funny. buddy. gurathin got over this months ago. he's just a quiet guy.
one-sided antagonism is so delicious. murderbot diaries i also very much enjoy how surreal it must be for gurathin / to know that the heavily armed rogue secunit holds a grudge against him / and also know that all it will ever choose to do about this is make frowny faces and flip him the bird. / (tags via space-mouse)
Gurathin, like three books from now: hey we’re friends right
Murderbot: no. we fucking hate each other.
Gurathin: awesome check this out it’s gonna make you so fucking mad
MB: I don’t like you
Gurathin, knowing MB calls its best friend “asshole research transport”: Uh-huh.
I am down with a migraine. Very dizzy. Expressed a desire for potato chips because I thought the salt might help.
Holly Mop who was beside me in bed got up and trotted into my office. Came back into the bedroom and very daintily spat out a single potato chip.
Which has revealed two things:
A) that she does understand more of what I’m saying, and in true Shih Tzu fashion,chooses not to listen and
B) there’s a stash of stale potato chips somewhere in my office I’ll need to find tomorrow.
Emphasis on tomorrow
I’ve got a Dogtor to cuddle today.