permets-tu?

I can hear this without sound

THIS IS THE SHIT LOL😂😂

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks

Bitch that is a LOOK

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I've been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

Homeopathic holy

It’s not actually any amount of holy water- according to the Church, the water has to be more than half holy water by volume. So if you take a half gallon+a few drops of holy water and a half gallon of secular water, you get one gallon of holy water, plus a few drops. You can then add a gallon of secular water to that and then you have two gallons of holy water. We’ve got a couple jugs of Pope Water in the linen closet at my parents’ house, because my mom used the heck out of this loophole after a trip to Italy in 2008. It was more than a decade ago at this point and we still have Pope Water. We no longer have that Pope, but by god do we have his water.

Songs with the same bpm but played over different than original video tracks give me life

oh yeah well what if trains entering tunnels didn’t symbolise sex, in fact what if sex symbolised railway engineering, how about that huh

everything is about sex, except sex, which is about trains

He's perfect for the role

honestly it is SO goddamn funny whenever some straight man calls me a whore or a bitch or something like girl you think that shit hurts my feelings? my closest friend once told me i dressed like an accounting major going through her 2nd divorce while trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THATS a real insult. try harder.

an old coworker once told me i look like someone who watches big bang theory ive never been more physically hurt in my LIFE

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

Oskaar!!!!!!!!!

Where’s that one greentext about the guy on a cruise that clogged the toilet and got a maid that didn’t speak English so he showed her the clogged toilet and flushed and it went down so he basically just made the maid watch him flush a massive shit

YES

people who think that only super rich people own horses obviously never grew up on a dirt road in a rural area of the south that has 7 chestnut quarter horses on that street alone, whose owners houses are falling down and yet the horses still have a round bale in their wire-fenced paddock