Probably Roman RPG Ideas

“to men of worth and uprightness [antony] was not acceptable because of his life in general, as cicero says” - my absolute favorite quote from plutarch’s life of antony

Blend gods from different cultures in your setting and see what new comes out in the amalgamation that wasn’t in any of the originals.

for best results when issuing a prophecy, sit on a three-legged stool. if you can’t summon the fumes directly from hades, dry ice is fine.

in th computer lab i heard the man behind me chuckle and say “ooooh….Yeah Babey” and whrn i turned to look at his screen he was looking at the wikipedia page for aqueducts

i feel like i shouldn’t believe you but i absolutely do

hannibal barca was sexy bc he was best friends and rivals with scipio africanus Who was of course extremely sexy. they were in every way equals in intelligence and therefore also sexiness. in this essay i will

au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home

#IM LAUGHIN #in the middle of it achilles throws a fit #”MAN IVE BEEN DJING FOR 3 HOURS YOU TOLD ME ID ONLY HAVE TO DO IT FOR LIKE AN HOUR” #”achilles cmon do menelaus a solid your djing is totally putting helen in the mood” #”FUCK YOU TOO AG” #he mopes upstairs to make out with his boyfriend #in the middle of a really quick’n’dirty handie someone bursts in the room all #”THIS IS AN EMERGENCY WE’RE OUT OF VODKA” #achilles is like FUCK OFF ASSHOLES I CANT PLAY BEER PONG BUT AS SOON AS YOU NEED SOMEONE TO GO ON A BOOZE RUN ITS ME. OF COURSE #patroclus is like ”well you are the fastest driver” ”I DONT CARE IM NOT GOING” #patroclus ”FINE then i’ll take your car dont be a baby” #5 minutes after patroclus is out the door achilles is like ”shit i fucked up” and catches a taxi to the liquor store #to meet up with patroclus #they drink the vodka and have sex in achilles’ car and forget all about the party

on the way home odysseus gets into a very minor fender bender that’s more like a fender bumper with some shit driver who is almost DEFINITELY high. and it’s all this guy’s fault but he won’t stop screaming about how he’s gonna fucking sue and odysseus just wants to go the fuck home and the guy goes “I’M FILING THE POLICE REPORT WHO ARE YOU” and odysseus is just so done that he says “nobody” and drives the fuck off and this completely tripping guy ends up screaming to the police at the side of the road at like three in the morning “NOBODY CRASHED INTO MY CAR!!!!!”

This was wild from start to finish.

#the chilliad

who wants to see a meme I made today after having some galaxy brain thoughts about the portrayal of violence in the aeneid and how that links to vergil’s ultimate message

Violentia violentibus curantur.

ending every speech with “carthage must be destroyed” to own the libs

the first catilinarian oration but every time cicero says “quid est, catilina?” it gets faster

you know what would be really great? to just be an augur in ancient rome and get prophecies from birds. just get to hang out in my ceremonial clothes looking for vultures all day and every once in a while say something profound when i see a sparrow or w/e, and nobody will bother me because if they piss me off i can just tell them that they can’t lead a military expedition against the gauls because my sacred chickens don’t like them. what a life

Play a salty augur

Hunt some big pigs! It’s a good low level leisure activity and source of experience.

This just raises more questions for me 🤦🏾‍♂️

what the FUCK

that last part gives me ideas for campaigns

fuck yeah. stop acting like ancient cultures were stupid and stop thinking of them with this kind of smug condescension. as if in 2018 there weren’t human beings who believe vaccines will make babies gay or whatever, or that the earth is flat.

Hi uhhhhhhhh can we get some source on the “the Greeks built cameras” thing???

AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

This is such an abstract type of comedy I don’t even know how to handle it

Rosetta Stone

Um. What….

Would probably still be more civil than the condiment discourse of 2017