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Here’s How Alex Albon Can Win The Australian GP—

Here’s How Alex Albon Can Win The Chinese GP—

Here’s How Alex Albon Can Win The Japanese GP—

Here’s How Alex Albon Can Win The Miami GP—

Here’s How Alex Albon Can Win The Canadian GP—

Here’s How Alex Albon Can Win The Monaco GP—

one persons's nothingburger is another person's everythingburger

if you think about it, vanilla soy lattes are just three-bean soups

good morning soft sad freaks on an unprofitable website

$5000 seems like a nice amount. Somebody should just give me $5000 today. Directly into my bank account. It would be very nice.

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

'the moral of project hail mary is that unfortunately eva stratt was right' 'the moral of project hail mary is that friendship will make you braver than you ever believed you could be' WRONG!!! the moral of project hail mary is BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WRITE YOUR THESIS ON

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

it’s tuesday i’m in the evil lab

it’s wednesday i’m in the time loop

it’s thursday i’m in the medieval torture apparatus

🌸it’s friday i’m in love🌸

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

Hey! how make much did you make an hr on your first job and what was the job?