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"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

very 🥰🥰🥰 when musicians leave bits in songs where they're saying 'is this thing on?' or 'it's still recording y'know.' chairs scraping, retuning guitars, saying 'let's do that bit again', 'was that take any good?'

if you're an adult behaving immaturely i'm not going to "treat you like a child" about it because i have a lot of respect for children as an oppressed and vulnerable class of people. i will however treat you like an embarrassment. which you are being.

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

if we don't even do anything, they won't have any evidence to lead back to us...! it's the perfect crime...!

I love not playing along

“ how do you expect to catch a man at your age?” “Rope”

Hole in the ground camouflaged with leaves

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

sorry I can’t hang out tonight. yeah I’m busy freaking out over things that might not even happen. yeah it’s gonna take a while

things will work out + it’s still early + not everything is lost + trees

people on tiktok will be like “the psych ward is like scared straight for depression” and giving them the benefit of the doubt you’re like “yes i agree, they use draconian punishments and force you to mask your problems to regain your freedom” and then they’ll be like “NO actually it’s because psych wards have THOSE crazies in there. the ones that make you realize your problems aren’t that bad after all :-)” and you’re like ohhhhhh so what i’m hearing is you need to be beaten with rocks👍 got it

person with depression who checked themselves into inpatient for suicidal ideation i promise you have much more in common with the patients who are actively hallucinating than any of the “professionals” there who are getting paid to play police brutality against a vulnerable population

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

you won't believe the weather we've been getting [remembers to avoid giving away my location] the sky was turned to darkness and the moon to blood, and the stars fell from the heavens.

I loooooove getting rejected. People should reject more. It's the "maybes" and ghosting that's just like too much. A firm but polite "no" is infinitely more respectful of everyone's time and feelings. Can we just do that?

You guys know this is a pretty normal human want and not a special accomdation to be saved for people with autism right?