must we not pay a debt to pleasure too?

Guy who has to one-up everything: yeah, well, I had couscouscous for dinner last night

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

i be like “never again” and guess what i did? agained

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

brought nothing to the gun fight, and everyone is really embarrassed for me. they keep trying to hand me a knife or a really big rock but I tell them I am not a charity case and die immediately

*throws myself at your mercy*

*it turns out to be just a trompe-l'œil painting of my mercy and you've thrown yourself right into a solid rock wall*

if i was in the world cup well i would just score a goal Lol then if the other team scored one i'd score another

ham and sneeze sandwich

what doesn't kill you makes you owwwww :( owwieee

I actually like it when ships hurt each other in long lasting and unforgivable ways. I like it when they leave vicious, glaring scars. I like when they leave traumas. I like when they stab each other and torture each other and ruin each other’s lives and violate every inch of each other’s values. and I like it when they fucking kill each other permanently dead. 

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

(nudging my liege as we walk past some visibly poisonous black berries) don't they look scrumptious my liege