your bright friend

i think we should stop having "kink at pride" discourse and START having "kink at the 4th of july" discourse. for no reason other than that it would be very funny

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

It's always "stop harming yourself or we'll have to lock you up!!!" and never "what do you need to change to want to harm yourself less and how can we help you make some of these changes?" and that's why we're not getting anywhere

250 years was long enough for america to exist i think we can move on now