your bright friend

I should quit my job to pursue a life of meaningless violence

i'm so tired of social media users saying "successful people are abusing stimulants". unsuccessful people are too. #WEMATTER

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands

great pyrenees are so fucking awesome theyre just big. if i didnt think that owning one was a supremely bad idea for me in particular id get one. i just think itd become my boss or something. im too lazy for a working breed truly

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

Winter is a cruel mistress. Spring is a seductive temptress. Summer is a lovely woman but her dick is a bit too large to fit comfortably unless you put in some work. Fall is pretty chill if you have a high THC tolerance.

my four girlfriends. and yes, they smoke weed

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

Random tumblr blog roleplays as a philosopher. Shocks the masses by using big words just to say they think theyre better than you because you watch movies. WHHAAAAT?

thats right

the biggest word in this post is “entertained”