Beep beep 🤡

i am like the breadloser of the family

no thoughts just the progression of Theon not even trying to help the captain's daughter (whose name he won't even think) → Theon trying and failing to escape with Kyra → Theon successfully escaping with Jeyne??? and all the women are victims of sexual exploitation (the first two by Theon himself)??? and he only succeeds in escaping once he starts identifying himself with whoredom. a triumph of solidarity. the arc of all time.

terfs kill yourself. transgender women live forever

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

everyone make sure you have some fucked up thoughts today ok

The concept of modern AU Jaime Lannister is too absurd to exist with any fidelity. What if LeBron James killed the president and then kept on hooping for fifteen years?

pandemic episode of malcolm in the middle: malcolm struggles to reconcile his commitment to quarantine safety measures with the fact that all the girls his age are so lonely and isolated that they're suddenly willing to go on dates with HIM, of all people. reese discovers that egging neighbors' houses still counts as a "socially-distanced" activity and has the time of his life. dewey does some mental calculus and realizes that he gets fewer wedgies per day from his brothers than he does from the school bully and decides he'll keep these lockdowns in effect at all costs, so he starts calling in fake pandemic data to local health districts to bump the numbers up. lois gets in a physical altercation with a non-masker at the lucky aide and starts duct taping people's mouths shut, which craig finds both alarming and oddly alluring. (craig then immediately gets infected from licking his hand to slick back his hair in a bid to impress her.) hal works from home but, after slacking off on the family computer all day, is driven to obsession by the thought of becoming the digital solitaire world champion.

Hal makes it to the finals of an online tournament and is moments away from winning the $100,000 prize but at the last second one of Reese's wayward eggs causes a neighborhood wide power outage. The episode ends with Hal wailing with anguish in the pitch black house.

thirty thousand notes and this is the only good addition anyone has made. you understand malcolm in the middle.

it’s bc im on that damn phone honestly