having memory issues while also being mutuals with several people who like to change their url & pfp on the regular is really funny bc its like. ok i dont recognize you but you Smell Familiar so i guess you can come in.
DEAR READER


blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"


JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement

seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from Pakistan
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Cambodia
seen from Iraq
seen from Netherlands

seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from Belgium

seen from United States

seen from India
@princessmeril
having memory issues while also being mutuals with several people who like to change their url & pfp on the regular is really funny bc its like. ok i dont recognize you but you Smell Familiar so i guess you can come in.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
she has been pickled for her crimes
The spirit of Mouse compelled me:
Um no I'm pretty sure those are both switches
I love a good HFY / Humans Are Space Orks post, and I think one element of Humans weāre sleeping on is an instinctual understanding of ballistics.
I mean, I get why itās not as popular here on Tumblr dot com, given itās kinda a jock/military adjacent thing, but like. Our ability to just. Pick up a small, firm object, judge its internal inertia and mass by holding it for a bit, and then flinging it with the kind of accuracy and speed Humans are capable of is.
Like thereās another post about how Humans in an alien zoo would probably be breaking out constantly, since we consider escape rooms to be a fun courtship ritual, but
imagine the aliens who are designing the enclosures just so happen to pick up, say, a devoted amateur baseball pitcher. Not even a legend by any means, just somebody whoās practiced with intention. And one day theyāre watching her pass some time and blow off some steam by doing some pitching practice and they realize to their mounting horror that this gal can turn literally anything she can wrap her digits around into a ballistic weapon.
fun fact humans can throw as hard and fast as an adult chimp, as preteens. chimps can mop the floor with any given soldier in agility and destructive force, but their shoulders just aren't right for throwing things, so they can't use their strength effectively for propulsion. humans have funky shaped shoulder blades that let us retain the flexibility of a socket joint while also, at need, locking the arm into the core stability of a bipedal torso. good pitchers throw with their entire bodies, one fluid whip from thigh to hip to shoulder and out through the arm, maximum leverage, and all other primates just can't lock together right for that perfect twisting lash, and rely on the gravitational assistance of 'being up a tree' to hurl a projectile. humans get to briefly turn into their own trees.
Luo Binghe is sure Yuan-ge is cheating on him. And Luo Binghe tries, he really, really tries to be the perfect partner! He knows all of Shen Yuanās likes and dislikes by heart, heās practically already a housewife, he helps Shen Yuan when his symptoms are worse, he always tries to look prettyā he just canāt understand why Yuan-ge would want someone else! Sure there are a dozen men who would throw themselves at his feet, but Yuan-ge never notices that! And yet, Yuan-ge has been going to āclassesā. He says theyāre painting classes, but he already knows how to paint and he never shows Luo Binghe anything he works on in these alleged classes. Even worse, his back and arms are terribly sore after each class.
Luo Binghe is at a loss of what to do. He canāt think of a single thing heās not already doing that woukd make him a better boyfriend. When the night before his birthday comes and Shen Yuan doesnāt want to have sex, heās sure heās going to be broken up with in the morning. He keeps his tears quiet when Shen Yuan leaves the bed early, rolling over and putting on an episode of sailor moon to soothe his broken heart.
āBinghe?ā
Luo Binghe jumps when a hand touches his shoulder. He hadnāt heard anyone enter over his headphones. Yuan-ge is⦠carrying a tray of food?
Shen Yuan smiles. āSuprise! Ah, I lied about the painting classesā Da-ge was actually teaching me how to cook so I could surprise you. Itās not as good as anything you make, but itās alright!ā
He made congee, topped with ginger, garlic, scallions, and chili crisp. There are apple bunnies on the side, along with toast cut to look like a cat, and what looks to be strawberry milk.
Luo Binghe does not bother to quiet his tears anymore.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
favorite thing about tumblr is having a fandom in law. no i haven't watched this show and i'm not planning to. but my moot is having fun!! look how much they love it!!! i'm supportive from the sidelines!
The writer's barely disguised longing for a soft life shared with someone who loves them
MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE
LET ME SCROLL I DONāT WANT TO MOVE THINGS IN YOUR STUPID GAME
sometimes you just gotta fuck up your sleep schedule by reading all 100k words of a fic you're not even enjoying, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise
the great thing about tumblr is that you can meet people you'll vibe with on a level you have never vibed with anyone before and the tragedy about tumblr is that they almost certainly will live in another country

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Sometimes you log on to tumblr dot com and see your beloved mutuals thirsting over unrisen sourdough men and you have to say a very very quiet āpassā to yourself and let it go because inevitably the flat circle of time will bring around your turn to go gaga over some butterface dude or bug eyed girl and you must know that your beloved mutuals are saying a quiet āpassā to themselves and leaving you to your moment of insanity in peace.
Realized I didn't post my Jayvik bookmarks here yet!
the thing is is that you'll be like. 11 years old and someone will tell you that you have to shave your legs. either it will be your mum or a friend or a mean girl in the p.e. changing rooms telling you how gross it is that you have hair on your legs. so then you ask your mum about it and she says yep you have to take this razor blade and drag it across your skin under running water and just hope you don't cut yourself too badly and you have to do this every single week and maybe more frequently than that and you have to do that for fucking ever. the rest of your fucking life. because the hair that grows naturally on your legs is gross and ugly and people will laugh and boys won't like you! of course boys have hair on THEIR legs. but that's normal and even attractive and it's just not the same for you. and a few years later they'll say well you obviously should also be shaving your armpits. and then it's your arms and then it's that you have to wax your upper lip and pluck your eyebrows and ewww why do you have hair on your fingers and your toes.. you need to shave that too. and then suddenly you need to buy spray that will make invisible hairs on your face visible so that you can shave that too! and it's expensive and time consuming and difficult and it HURTS but they just say beauty is pain babe! and you're not allowed to say that maybe if beauty is pain then you don't actually want to be beautiful
the best fic you have ever read in your entire fucking stupid life: written by anonymous
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and itās not to watch the shoppers. See, we canāt actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didnāt exist in my household. Itās normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
āWhat the hell, Iāll take another,ā says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. Heās not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. Heās not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadnāt spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldnāt have spent any. I go home. I donāt own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.Ā
Iām not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlandoās walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (ācast membersā) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even āfaceā characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
me: āyeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didnāt work outā
coworker: ādamn dude was preorderingā
other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:
āgot confused about why Iād never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans
ātold me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine
ālaughs at all my trans jokes, even if theyāre supremely unfunny
ācalls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me
ā āI canāt believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?ā
Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly
I was talking to a friend I knew before I transitioned about my new relationship (my first one ever!) and I said "Yeah, I think I only indentified as aro/ace most of my life because I didn't have lesbian as an option" and he looked me dead in the eye and said "Oh? Why not? ...Ohhh"
Then he said "You know, I completely forgot you weren't always this way. Femininity really suits you" and let me tell you I started tearing up
Of course, not ten minutes later I mentioned that I had to relearn how to sing and he said "oh no, what happened?" so he might just be a little slow
Update on that friend: a bunch of people sent me "he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit" gifs in response to that story. I can tell you now with certainty that she definitely has the spirit, and she's not confused anymore
Sometimes the ship aint your taste but the freaks who create the art for it are so goddamn skilled that you end up liking it by proxy... and thats truly what fandom is about