prince of salt

it is completely morally neutral to let your friends lay their eggs in your apartment. it's fine

stairs are so funny. falling 100 meters will kill you. solution? fall 10 centimeters a thousand times.

they invented all those neat si prefixes and people still talk like this

falling a hectometer will kill you. solution? fall a decimeter a kilotime.

i love dubcon i love sex pollen i love pathetic moaning i love apologising but being unable to control yourself i love desperate fucking i love hands everywhere like they're trying to memorise every part of you

Kitty cats are always playing it up. Getting head pets and cheek scritches can't possibly feel THAT good.

did you hear they started drawing anthropomorphic animal people with human-like qualities, such as bipedalism, the capacity for speech, and even human breasts?

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

friends with consequences

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

the Terracotta Army guy?

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

domming is great until you hit a decision fatigue wall likeeeeee i think youre a fucking grownup and you can decide whether to cum or not on your own. be proactive for once

disturbing amount of people being like “you’re a bad domme you don’t deserve to domme” girl ur a bad comedy audience you don’t deserve to heckle get outta here

do you really think im in the middle of sex going “actually you know what? figure it out for yourself.”

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless