one fancy fucking chicken

It's noticeable when people use a genuine complicating factor (social anxiety) to justify bad behavior especially when their behavior does not align with that confounding factor.

Common scenario (and one that I just experienced, oh, about two hours ago):

Person A: is a dick

Person B: hey, that was a dick move; maybe you didn't mean it that way, but it was, so please stop.

Person A: I was not a dick!!!!

Person B: You were. If you don't want to be a dick, try this instead.

Person A: I have social anxiety!!!!!!!!! I will flagrantly ignore your advice and do EXACTLY what you said not to do!!!!!!!!

Hey man, first of all, lots of us have social anxiety. We're still not dicks. Having social anxiety (colloquially or clinically) does not excuse causing harm. Full stop. But what's worse is when you try to use "social anxiety" as an excuse for taking ownership and accountability for the harm caused. Own your nonsense, make your apologies, and plan to do better next time.

Anxiety of any kind can be really perceptually warping, I get that. It makes your fight-or-flight go wheeeeeeee when it doesn't need to. But part of being a human in the company of other humans is learning to curb instinctual responses (being told "hey, you hurt someone's feelings" is not being chased by a predator, and you do actually know the difference) and to adjust behaviors accordingly. Sometimes that means taking a break before responding, learning coping strategies, and does mean learning and growing when given feedback.

But also, when you wave the flag of "social anxiety!!!!" I do want to note that the rest of us are noticing what you seem to have anxiety over, and in scenarios like the above, it's clearly not about interacting well, finding community, or expressing yourself in a way that better communicates what you mean. A person anxious about social interactions and not being harmful will be clearly focused on navigating interactions appropriately and avoiding or repairing unintentional harm. A person anxious mostly about how they're perceived will be defensive, combative, and closed to recommendations for change, growth, and harm reduction.

And that's not bad! It's true for a lot of people! You CAN go back later! You can apply to university, you can get your GED, you can pursue whatever level of education you want. It's not bad to share that message. If you dropped out and want to go back eventually, there is zero timeline. You can go back at any age, with any life experience. You do not have to graduate by a specific age.

But as someone who dropped out of college over a decade ago, sometimes "you can always go back!" starts to feel a little like an empty platitude. Sometimes it starts to feel grating instead of hopeful. Even when it might technically be true, sometimes it still feels like a hollow sentiment.

I just want to say, to anyone else out there who feels that way, who dropped out and CAN'T go back, potentially EVER, whether it's due to poverty or disability or any other reason:

It's okay to drop out and never go back. It might feel shitty, and you may even feel grief over it. That's real, and painful, and allowed. But you are not lesser. Even if you never go back, you are not a failure or a loser. Academics do not define your worth. You are not stupid. And it is almost certain that the system actually failed YOU.

With love,

I personally still deal with a lot of grief about how my university career ended, but that's just one experience. I know other people with zero regrets, who talk openly about the ways that dropping out literally saved their lives. Life throws nasty curveballs sometimes.

2026 - 2025 - 2024 - 2023

in spite of it all, happy 2026 pride.

you can download current and past hi-res versions of these over at my ko-fi (ok to print for personal use): https://ko-fi.com/mxmorgan/shop/freedownloads

you can also snag shirts here which go to various orgs: https://mxmorgan.threadless.com/collections/pride

these get reposted a whole lot from here to reddit to twitter to tiktok and on and on, and i don't personally care whether or not i'm credited. i made these for everyone to use, enjoy, and find meaning in them. i appreciate folks who do credit me, but if able, please at least link to the threadless shop in the previous post - folks can get an official shirt where 90% of earnings go to trans led orgs focused on mental health (which is an important matter in general, but very personal to me) and not from a scam bot site selling AI-churned maga garbage where you probably won't get one anyway. i also suggest downloading the files from my ko-fi - they are free/PWYW and you can use them to make your own shirt, patch, embroidery project, whatever. tips are always nice, cuz i do like a pizza now and then, but never required for download.