Pop Theories: Norms on Infinite Bar Stools
Editor's Note: Cheers fans should make sure to read Mike's article Bill Towner or: The Man Cliff Clavin Wishes He Was for more Cheers fun!
The concept of parallel universes is not uncommon in the world of fiction, whether it is the mirror universe of the original Star Trek series, the multiverses of DC and Marvel comic books or even the titular 8th dimension of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. It allows for a multitude of stories involving slightly or radically different variations of a familiar universe partitioned off due to some singular phenomenon. Sometimes, though, these existences converge with one another, the universes momentarily collide, allowing for momentary interactions between worlds.
And sometimes you watch entirely too much Cheers and develop a Pigman-from-PCU theory. Distinguished colleagues of the internet, I present to you the theory of Norms on Infinite Bar Stools.
For the purposes of this theory, Norm Peterson is the most recognizable character in the Cheers-verse, and for good reason. He's the lovable loaf and barfly who would gladly pay you next year for a beer or ten today. He's always greeted by the entirety of the establishment with a hearty, "Norm!" and they are rewarded with one of his classic witty retorts, or "Norm-isms" as my good friend Chris and I have labeled them. Norm is such a likable and legendary lush that he's known even in other watering holes, including bowling alley bars.
The question is, how can one man who spends almost every second of his day either at Cheers or the Hungry Heifer (and certainly not at home with his wife, Vera) be known through the whole Beantown? There's easy answers like, "He's charming, so even a couple of visits here and there warrants a warm salutation for Mr. Peterson," or "It's a t.v. show, you rambling jackass," but I've never been one for the easy, boring answers. I believe it can be argued that there are multiple Norm Petersons wandering through a singular universe.
Norm is the anchor in all of the alternate universes that constitute the Cheers-verse. Norms may take on different appearances, but they retain intrinsic qualities that include, but are not limited to, their sedentary nature, their love for libations and their simple, but humorously wise attitudes.
Norm Peterson, or Norm-Prime as we will refer to him, is definitely a constant at 112½ Beacon Street. In the cold opening to What Is...Cliff Clavin?, an older gentleman returns to Cheers after having moved to Alaska twenty years ago. He describes all the aesthetic changes that have happened in that time. "They even changed the paneling," he tells Woody, "...Over there, behind Norm." Sure, this is a humorous instance that implies that Norm has always been at Cheers, but it is a slight hint at Norm's true purpose. In the episode Crash of the Titans, Rebecca has an appraiser come in to generate a price on the bar in order to make a bid. As the appraiser makes his rounds, he notices a deformity in the floor, "...almost as if this bar stool is sinking into the earth." The joke lies in the fact that Norm spends so much time sitting in that one spot that he has caused the floor underneath him to sink in, but there is more at play here. The floor may be sinking into the earth because it is a weak point between the primary Cheers-verse and the other alternate universes, and other Norms have been coming and going for some time now.
One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape (Season 7, Episode 4)
At the beginning of the fourth season, Sam Malone finds himself tending bar in Mexico, and having the time of his life. Here he meets Pepe, who is, for all intent and purposes, the Mexican Norm. Pepe walks into the bar, greets the patrons and is greeted back as a Norm would be, even rendering onto Sammy a Norm-ism in Spanish. When Rebecca goes to extreme ends to get Sam to return to Boston, Sam ponders the reasoning behind his friendship with her in front of Pepe. "Nice buns, Sammy?" Pepe replies. "You people see things so clearly," Sam says, most likely meaning the native inhabitants south of the border and their lax perspective. Perhaps, though, "you people" is a subtle references to the Norms.
I Do, Adieu (Season 5, Episode 26)
In the fifth season finale, Sam daydreams about a future where he and Diane are happily married well into their golden years. Of course, even in their old age, Norm is still a part of their lives. Old Norm frequents Woody's bar, still hangs out with Cliff and is more than capable to dish out a witty retort. While it can be argued that this is nothing more than a figment of Sam's wishful thinking of a future that would never come to be, it could also be argued that Sam had a The Dead Zone-esque vision into one of the alternate realities of the Cheers-verse, solidifying Old Norm's existence. I mean, Sam once talked to the ghost of Elvis Presley through a television set, so anything is possible.
Bad Neighbor Sam (I Hate Leases to Pieces) (Season 9, Episode 8)
This episode finds John Allen Hill, a successful New York restaurateur, purchasing Melville's, the fine dining establishment above Cheers, and bringing in an upscale crowd that treats the bar as an extended lounge. Here we are introduced to Yuppie Norm, or as the crowd greets him, "Bradley," after he walks in with an uppity, "Ciao, gang!" As if the horde of yuppies overtaking the bar was not bad enough, they even go so far as to disrupt the balance of the universes. A couple occupies Norm's stool, forcing him to become worried and weak. He resorts to a fainting spell as a means to distract everyone so he could take his rightful place, knowing that the barrier between worlds was weakening. It was to no avail, though, as his absence was long enough to allow Yuppie Norm to momentarily cross into the primary universe just a few moments later.
One Hugs, the Other Doesn't (Season 10, Episode 16)
One season later, we find the Cranes holding little Frederick's second birthday party at Cheers. Y'know, because small children and bars are just meant to be. After raiding the snack table with Cliff, Norm returns to his stool to find it occupied by a youngster. Norm-Prime questions him before removing him from the stool, lamenting that he wishes that someone would have done the same for him. This raises two interesting questions. The first is, does the stool and the space underneath it have supernatural powers that make food and beverages tastier? The second is, are Norms born or are they created? It is possible that Norm-Prime is not the first of his kind in the primary universe and that it was a responsibility that fell quite literally into his lap.
From these examples, it is clear that the bar stool and the spot underneath is seem to have otherworldly qualities, brought upon by the fact that it is a weakness in the barrier between realities. This weakness has allowed for multiple Norms to cross over into the primary Cheers-verse, adding to Norm-Prime's near omnipresent popularity, even though Norm-Prime tries to his best to serve as a plug in the hole by sitting atop the stool. The Norm-like qualities seem to be a result of serving as a Norm: the superhuman-levels of consumption to sustain long bouts of sitting, the physical stamina to remain seated for hours on end and the comedic perspective brought about from the existential responsibility of being a Norm.
No one ever said it was easy being Mr. Peterson, let alone a Norm, so the next time you watch an episode of Cheers, remember that the Norm you see has the weight of infinite worlds resting underneath his butt.
