Just A Possum In A Dumpster Fire

Guys i just saw the funniest web graphic of a frog on a unicycle. I think this will be big. They're calling him that boy.

it's always bad for adults to interact with minors, which is why when I was born my mother was positioned at the window and I was birthed down a giant slip n slide that safely transported me to the hospital grounds, where I was quickly accepted and raised by a gang of feral babies who were born under similar circumstances. and that's why my posts are so bad

Hey what the fuck happens in homestuck

you ever crave something you can't have? ssssshut up about your ex i mean i want grilled cheese but im scared of the stove

Hate when I type in the first letter of my email and the text box immediately goes ❌🚫INCORRECT! FILL IN A COMPLETE EMAIL ADRESS!🚫❌ I’m still working on it!! Chill out!!

why is it sooo hard to conclude essays. I said all that because fuck you thats why

harry makes it in time to find sally at new year's every time bc of the sheer Power of the audience hoping that he will. if people ever stop believing, he will not be fast enough. but this has never happened once in the whole expanse of time.

what did you call it? bust a nut squash? what the fuck is wrong with you man, what is fucking *shoves you* what the fuck is wrong with you? *i have you by the collar and you finally repeat what you said which was "butternut squash"* oh my god. Dude im so sorry. eyes welling with tears im so sorry man im so sorry

May next year be the year of the slut

If you have a friend that wants to vent to you but doesn't want solutions but you are a solutions-oriented person, may I suggest Silly Solutions (TM)? For instance, whenever my friend complains about the people at her job being dumb, I remind her that if only one of us had studied engineering, we could create a giant hippo robot with laser eyes to destroy them. It fulfills my need to offer a solution, doesn't violate her boundary of not wanting to problem solve, AND it cheers us both up!