inner machinations of my mind

this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years

you’re right, that’s significantly less weird

i bless the bonnie over africa

The bonnie is in geosychronous orbit, thus over all the Earth’s bodies of water

the bonnie is merely moving very fast, perhaps at hypersonic velocity, relative to the singer

I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual

It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders. 

“I cast Iron Gate!”

As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids

A big part of being a quadruped is being able to just lie down anytime. Waiting? Loaf time. Talking to someone shorter than you? Loaf time. Falling asleep in the sun? Loaf time. Bored? Loaf it up till something interesting happens. Leg hurt? Loaf time.

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped