"we found gerard's old puke fetish forum messages from the late 90s where they were going by a girl name" is both so deeply predictable it borders on parody and also maybe the most insane thing i've ever seen

The biggest “your experiences are not universal” thing I feel is whenever anyone talks about the universality of girls planning their weddings since childhood because. Well. Not me. God bless

“The universal girlhood experience of—“ [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]

every day i wake up and curse god that mike carden isnt a butch lesbian

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

that coffee and pastry will save your life btw