Help.

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

thinking "everyone can tell im bad at this" as i stand completely motionless doing nothing in public

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

imagine you have a movie with oscar isaac and john boyega and people fixate on adam driver instead. this actually happened

In heated rivalry season 2 Shane should develop autoimmune encephalitis and ilya should gaslight him into thinking he's developing psychosis and manipulate him into killing and eating people

The first rule of sewing is you can fix anything if you have patience, creativity, and a little bit of extra fabric! The second rule of sewing is AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

The fucking. Polynesians knew

ABOUT BOTH THINGS

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

"there's a guy in the walls" movies exist in a universe that I fucking WISH was real. imagine how easy it would be to install stuff in walls if the space behind a wall was not 3.5 inches/8.9 cm deep and I could get my whole self in there. of course that would mean a guy could get in there too, but what are the odds.

<currently blogging from inside this idiot's walls>

PLEASE help me feed these ethernet cables downstairs or I'm gonna kill myself before you get a crack at me

thread it down here champ, we'll get this installed come hell or high water

you are the best scary murderer who could have ever crawled into my walls