I am the potato one

you gotta be as gay as possible on the computer otherwise alan turing died for nothing

i cant speak for other polyam people but being in a triad/throuple relationship in real life is just inherently funny. show up to the family function with two guys and everyone else has one guy. just seems like a power move every time even though we're just living our lives. hilarious. i recommend this for comedic value alone

i love tumblr if i had made this post on twitter someone would have tried to murder me in the streets

I mean Elon Musk has of course now cancelled the blue checkmark bullshit so no more Twitter fun with verified accounts, but shout out to my personal fave of someone pretending to be Gamefreak and tweeting "Gen 8 was bad because we wanted to accurately portray living in the UK"

you could jerk off to this

I’m reblogging this because it is a nice color PLEASE ignore that last part about jerking off that is not what I wanted to say by reblogging this post tumblr staff could you please remove that rude comment from my post thank you very much?

we should name this color “jerking off green”

fags are allowed to say dyke and dykes are allowed to say fag in the same way that youre allowed to run up and slap your sibling on the back of the head

Yeah dude who do you think catches your freshly cut salmon

Hanging out with your bestie

i would never “french” kiss my girlfriend because I hate the french more than i love her

ACAB also applies to golfers for some reason it just feels right

Twenty percent luck, forty percent skill, SEVEN. Lamborghinis. In the hollywoodhiills

genuinely curiously wondering how many people have lost the key to their cock cage and then need to call… what the clinic the fire department a lockpick who is helping these trapped penises

they usually call me at my personal cell phone number, I come to their house, and I gnaw through the metal until their penis is set free

you’re like the mice that freed Aslan

hey uhhh but fr the concept of fallen angels existing but risen demons being an impossibility is kind of a great summary of sin in christianity

holy shit

If you didn’t lose your shit at that very first chord you’re lying