Pooksbedamned

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

Don’t do this to me

my brother in christ you made the post

add me to your discord server so I can do the online equivalent of arriving at a party saying hi to the people I know then standing awkwardly in the corner for the rest of the night

Here is the podcast (audio only), here is the text (the top text is Chinese, scroll down for English)

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

And newspapers

A guy across from me at the coffee shop working on his computer got up and then asked if I could watch his stuff while he went to the bathroom. And then he came out of the bathroom and was like oh I have to go do something but I’m coming back, and he LEFT THE COFFEE SHOP. Why am I now in charge of your computer and backpack?? THE AUDACITY

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink

THIS WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY